I keep blogging about the unrelenting stares, and our panda status over here.
Most days I can brush it off, or even laugh at it, but some days, I don't leave the complex just because I am not in the mood to have the attention. It's like, I just want to go to my corner market and buy some bananas without the finger pointing and paparazzi ninjas.
Leave us alone.
Thankfully those days are few and far between. Otherwise, I would totally fail at living here.
On the flip side, I am also thankful for our "fishbowl" living experience here.
It's made me more patient (for the most part), more self assured in my abilities as a mother (try convincing the Chinese grandmas that your child does not need a hat on every.single.day, over and over), and more outgoing and adventurous.
Being in a country so foreign to me, I knew I couldn't become recluse. I knew I had to get out and really make my way through the frustration of not understanding the language, not being able to read, and figuring out how things operate around here. All my life I've been a sit back and watch kinda girl. I wouldn't try things unless I was quite certain I wouldn't fail.
Living here, and not having many options for communicating and meeting my/our needs, has made me more willing to step out of my comfort zone and TRY things. If I fail, who cares? So far, I have surprised myself with what I CAN accomplish, despite not knowing more than a handful of key phrases and no ability to read Chinese. I managed to arrange for a tailor to hem my dress and negotiate a price. ..All.By.Myself.
This is big, people.
Fishbowl living, and always having eyes on every move we make, has made me care less about what others think of me. I'm grateful for this because I have always wanted to be more confident at trying things that I could potentially fail at...and just go for it.
China has provided me the outlet to do so, and for that, I am thankful.