Friday, May 18, 2012

Three Years Old

Today is May 18th.

Even the tiniest of footprints leave a mark on this world.
Denise 05-18-09
I'm wishing that we had a sassy pants 3 year old to celebrate today.

Wishing that the culmination of agonizing over which party dress to put her in, and the deets of a family birthday party were all coming together...and definitely, most definitely, charging our camera battery so we could capture her nailing the pinata with a whiffle bat.

Instead, I'm sitting here remembering the little girl that we had to say hello and goodbye to in the very same breath. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her in some way. Sure, time has mended my broken heart, but the scar is still there, and it's still not completely healed. I'm pretty sure it never will.

I'm okay with that. I like to think about her. I don't want to forget her, because as I've said over and over in this blog...she was very much wanted and loved.

This year has blessed us with a little brother for Denise.

It's bittersweet, it really is.

Sometimes I stare at him while he is sleeping, and wonder if she would have looked like him. I wonder if she would have acted like he does, or smile the way he does...and sure, it makes me a bit sad that I will never get to know, but at the same time, I feel like I see a part of her everytime I look at him.

And for that, I am ever so thankful.

Happy 3rd Birthday, baby girl..( if she were around I bet she'd say "Mama, I isn't your baby. I'z a big girl!" or something so stinkin cute I'd go grab the video camera and prod her to say it again)

Denise, your mama misses you. Every.Single. Day.

And with that, I'll leave you with a link to my song for her from the Band Perry.


  1. Well said Mama! She's watching down on her lil brother, I know it.. kickin' it with Grandpa Bud and all our other relatives/friends up there.

    xoxo Sis / Auntie

  2. we all would have loved to have gotten to know her and we keep her in our hearts until we meet her. Love you sweetie

  3. Missing Denise with you...

    Lily will be gone for 4 years in August and I know my heart still has tons of mending to do...

  4. Happy 3rd Birthday sweet Denise! <3

    Thinking of you all Brie!