As pregnant ol me stood in the checkout line with anything but beer at my local VONS tonight. I caught myself watching people dressed in green buying beer for the inevitable St. Patty's parties...I was brought back a few years to St. Patty's day 2006.
March 17, 2006... Covered in my first orangetastic coat of jantana, I worked a half day, and then proceeded to get in my car and drive what was to be a 3 hour drive to San Diego for a figure show the following day. I had my food portions packed up for the 2 meals I would be needing while driving...and a scheduled airbrush with Jantana at the host hotel in San Diego at 5:30...I thought to myself, Noooooo problem...
6 hours, and tear stained arms ( that jantana stuff runs when it gets wet!) later, I arrived a mess, in San Diego..in the dark, starving for a meal whose contents would be determined by my trainer when he saw me...Which, if the World was perfect and traffic didn't exist, should have been 3 hours earlier!
I checked in with Kimbo ( best trainer ever!) and he was able to schedule me in for a quick (although late!) bathtub style airbrush with the Jantana girl...After another coat of Jantana, he took a look at my physique and gave me a golden opportunity for supper..
" GO OUT AND ORDER A FILET MIGNON STEAK, A LARGE BAKED POTATO, AND A SLICE OF CARROT CAKE."
WTF?! Really? At this point I thought my mind was playing tricks...Since when does a figure girl, one day out from stage, eat a fricken filet and potato? And....carrot cake?!
Once the excitement wore off, I realized I was in San Diego, all by my lonesome...and had no idea where to secure such a meal. Might I add... in a restaurant, while covered in Jantana....by myself.
You see..I don't eat in restaurants by myself. I have never....I repeat NEVER, sat down at a table for one and certainly wasn't about to in an unfamilar town.
So, starving and once again in tears, I got in my car, on the search for a take out place which would serve to my specifications... Yeah right, good luck, figure girl...Finding a take out restaurant that serves a filet with no seasonings? HAHA! I think that's illegal!
And there it was...right in front of my eyes...The magic RED lights...were like Heaven above..
That's it! I will buy a potato and steak and carrot cake slice from VONS!
I sat in my car contemplating the purchase, and the options for how I would go about cooking this feast..from my hotel room...I even thought about eating it raw like the Frenchies do, but decided against the possibility of contracting E.Coli just because I was too afraid to go to Outback by myself.
And there it was again..to the left of VONS..Another ray of light...
I walked in Rite Aid, trying to find their small appliances..maybe they would have a single burner and I could buy a pot and somehow boil the meat and potato? Sounded gross, but at 10 p.m. the night before a show, and 4 hours past meal time, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...
And there it was again....
GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL $14.00
Me and my Forman walked out of RITE-AID and over to VONS....where I proceeded to select a filet, a potato and a HUGE slice of overly frosted Carrot cake (Hey, in my defense, Kimbo never said what size of cake).
I couldn't help but notice that I was the ONLY person buying food at the checkout counter....Everyone else, all decked out in Green, looked as if they were gearing up for a BIG night out for St. Patty's day...And the only thing in their baskets was BEER.
I can't help but think, a few fellow customers may have thought they saw a real life leprechaun that night...Me and my oompa loompa colored self walked right out and proceeded to cook a gourmet meal with just my Foreman, Filet and Hotel room. No utensils, just hands....