Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Song of the Week

Although I have had Kenny Chesney's cd,"Lucky Old Sun", since it was released, I stopped listening to it shortly after the loss of our little girl. If I had to hear "Down The Road" one more time, I was going to have an all out meltdown. I used to listen to that song on my way to work every morning ...dreaming about our little girl, and the years down the road when her dad and I would meet the man she wanted to marry. I loved it. I loved it a lot. And actually, I still do..but I just can't bear to listen to it in fear of crying like a baby.

I also can't listen to George Strait's "I Saw God Today" all because of one stupid line...about looking through the nursery glass at his miracle. That line alone does me in..
Every. Single.Time.

If I were an actress, doing a crying scene, all they'd have to do is make a cd of these songs together and I would instantly get into character. It would be like flipping a light switch.
Movin' along, happy as I could be...and WHAM! One of those songs comes on and the tears flow.

Anyhow, I'm veering from my whole reason for this post...I picked a new kick ass song of the week...On the subject of Kenny Chesney's "Lucky Old Sun" cd, I heard a song today that makes me want to try my luck and put that cd back in my car..I can always fast forward past THE song, right? I heard the Kenny Chesney/ Dave Matthews song, "I'm Alive" a couple days ago and although I have heard it millions of times before, it was like I was listening to it for the first time. The words fit my current mentality perfectly.

Each day I wake up, tell myself to be strong, and remind myself I DO have a lot to be thankful for. But somedays, my grief gets the best of me. Anger, sadness, self-pity, all comes to an ugly head and I burst..It's a daily routine for me now...reminding myself that there's no need to get so worked up over the cards we've been dealt..I can think about them, but I don't need to let them knock me down.."They" say it gets easier, but until then, I'm taking it dayby day, step by step.

Simply stated..
I'm Alive, and Well.

Here are the lyrics to my New favorite song... click link above for video

So damn easy to say that life’s so hard
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars
As for me I’d like to thank my lucky stars that
I’m alive, and well

It’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessin' can’t you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I’m alive, and well
I’m alive, and well

Stars are dancin’ on the water here tonight
It’s good for the soul, when there’s not a soul in sight
But this boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I’m alive, and well

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing can’t you see
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Now I’m alive, and well
Yeah I’m alive, and well

1 comment:

  1. Perfect song for now! Take each day as it comes--the good and the not so good and for each low moment think of all that you do have and give thanks to God.