Now I have a Kenny Chesney song stuck in my head, but not the whole entire thing, just the first few lines..
It's called, " What I need to do" and he talks about running away from his problems and knowing that he needs to turn his car around and head back to deal with it all.
I've just got the " What I need to do " part playing over and over in my head.
I need ( we need) to let our little girl go.
Not in the sense of forgetting about her, no way, no how..but we need to give her the proper memorial. Just NZ and me and her ashes. We need to do it soon...otherwise, this mama just might hold onto those ashes forever. We've talked at length about where & how, but the "when" part is always "soon"..and never set.
I think "soon" has arrived.
I think about these other moms and dads that have gone through an infant loss, and wonder how they deal with the burial, creamation etc.. I know that religion plays a large role in how many choose to memorialize their babies, but do others who have creamated their babies struggle with letting go of that last little piece to hold onto? Do they keep urns? Do they let them go at sea? Bury them under a tree? I know, pretty morbid topic here, but it's what we're faced with. We have made our decision of what we want to do, but committing to a time and date to go finally do it has proven to be difficult.
We're strong & we're lucky to have one another...We know what we need to do....and it's going to happen, but this dragging of the feet just isn't like us.