Sunday, November 24, 2013


Six weeks and counting.

Feelings of anxiousness are filling my body.

It's not anxiety over giving birth, or making the two hour drive to the hospital, but about Sal.

I've never been away from him for more than a few hours. Ever.

We have arranged to fly my sister out from California to stay for two weeks, which will coincide with my planned induction date and recovery. I trust her 100% in taking care of Sal, and giving him her full attention. But I can't let go of the sad feelings I am already have when I think about leaving him for a few days. I worry he won't nap for her. I worry he will have trouble going down for bedtime. I worry he we call out my name with that heartbreaking sob of his and not be consolable. I worry he will feel abandoned. 

I've had offers from friends here to "practice" leaving him, but somewhere along the way, my mind has been stuck in the mindset that I should be with him at all times. Sure, I've had daydreams of getting away, and I have gone out on my own a few times (but Nick is usually home, or my friend Heather watches him), but it is usually because I really need to go on an errand or something...not just because. And we're talking an hour. Not all day. Not overnight. An hour or two, max. 

The rational side of me knows he will be okay. He's in the best hands (besides ours) that we could think of. He will get to stay in his own home, sleep in his own bed, and have his auntie all to himself. He looooves his aunt Stephanie. I know my sister will have invitations to join my friends for coffee, playground visits, and produce market walks. I know she will keep him busy and love on him.

It's just a couple of days. Not forever. 

That being said, I still can't shake this feeling of anxiety over leaving my little man.


  1. It's understandable that you are anxious.. He and I will be ok. He will have 100% of my attention and lots of extra snuggles & kisses.....and maybe a few of his auntie's cookies. Remember the 1st time you left him with me when he was just a week old... you were anxious then too, but he was OK. He may cry, he may ask for you but we will divert that attention to something fun. He'll sleep, I'll wear him out so he has no choice but to sleep & recharge. Love you sis - see you in 6 weeks xoxo

  2. We left Cameron overnight for the first time last week and it was with Granny. She did fine - but she stays with Granny during the day while we work. She didn't really want to go to bed and I think kept going until she just crashed. Poor girl.

    That first time is the hardest. Hopefully Sal does great!

  3. I'm 9 weeks and counting and experiencing the same anxiety. B will be with my family (maybe... if I'm not an emergency case like last time!).

    I hate the idea of leaving Benjamin and him calling for me and missing me. He can't even handle if I'm not in the room for bath lately. :/

    Hoping all that leads up to and is... goes easily. And Sal can have a little sister to pester AT HOME with his mommy in no time.

  4. brie, i'm sure you've heard this, but i remember those same feelings. it's so natural. i too had all the same concerns even though i knew evia would be 100% cared for and loved. the feelings lasted through the first couple of days, as i concentrated on the new little life that needed me. but as soon as we were all home together again as our little family unit of 4 - i was reassured everything was ok. as my mom said to me, your heart just grows bigger and i believe your baby's does too. sal is going to be so happy for his new little sister!! good luck, thinking of you.