Sunday, November 8, 2015

When babies don't sleep

It's been a solid seven weeks since I last had more than a four hour stretch of sleep at night. My once good sleeper, who went to bed at 7:00, woke at 4:15 to eat, and then back to sleep til 7:00 am, is no longer. 

Seven weeks, folks.

I can't even do the math on how many hours of sleep lost, or how many nights I've been up shushing him back to sleep. It's been an eternity for all I know.

My days run together, my Visine bottle is damn near empty, and my hope of ever sleeping again is slowly dying. 

NZ and I have wracked our brain as to what could be causing this regression, and we've run the gamut- teething (he has 5, and one on the way), learning to crawl, eating solids, my reintroduction of dairy (minimal), formula could be anything. Honestly, I just don't know. At my wits end this past week, I borrowed a couple of sleep advice books, skimmed them.....then waved my white flag and called my pediatrician office. 

The advice given was to quit dairy, again. Give water to the boy when he wakes at non-eating times (rather than nurse him), and to go in at 5-10-15 minute intervals to let him cry it out in a controlled way (?!) Honestly, I haven't done any reading on this CCIO method, because I just don't have an ounce of fucks to give. I got the cliffs notes version from the on call pediatrician and we tried it the next night. Nick was able to get the boy back to sleep during his first non-feeding time waking and I was successful with the second waking. In fact he slept through his usual feeding time that night.

We've had a few better nights since then, but last night he and I were back up FOUR times. FOUR! That's three times too many for this mama. 

I held out...but he held out longer. At some point, you give in, because....sleep. I determined that lying in bed listening to him scream ( and getting out of my warm bed) for over an hour and a half, was crazy. I nursed. He went out. Just two hours of reprieve, but still...Sleep. 

The next morning I decided I need a sleep trainer to come help me. Did a little FB moms group research, only to find out that, contrary to my preconceived notions, a sleep trainer doesn't actually come to your house to take over. What the fuck?! Why pay someone $200 plus to NOT come physically save my ass and allow me to sleep while they sort out the mess we've gotten into?

So, sleep training was a big fat, NOPE.

Next thought was trying some of the hippy oils or teething necklaces. If even just for placebo effect. I just don't know.

I've since talked to a few of my real life mom friends, and was astounded to learn that their babies did this too for xyz amount of months. And what did they do?

Got up and nursed those babies to sleep, knowing that this won't last forever.

So, here I am, three nights after starting this post, sitting, nursing, and deliriously finishing my post while eating clearance candy corn from CVS at 10:45 pm. 

Sweet baby G, one day we will laugh about this. Right?


  1. I feel ya mama! My 10.5 month old was a TERRIBLE sleeper! She was up 2-4 times per night every night, until 6.5 months! And, she'd stay awake for up to TWO hours! It was awful. And I work out of the house full time. So I was desperate. My husband and I decided to sleep train at 6.5 months and after about 2 weeks, she was only waking once to nurse, around 1am. FINE. I can do that! Then at 9 months, we dropped that feeding and she's been sleeping through the night since. Good luck!

    1. Which method/book helped you? Good to hear there is hope! Last night he continued to cry after I fed him (3rd waking) so I shut the door to his room and mine and next thing I knew I was waking up to my oldest son staring in my face at 6am

    2. We ended up doing CIO. We had success with my first kid, doing a modified version of that (if she went to full blown crying, we went to her immediately, but she almost never cried that bad). She was sleeping 12 hours straight through at 6 months (and to this day, at 3.5 years old, she's still an amazing sleeper). My little one now, we did CIO with her as well, but she did cry pretty hard the first night. It was rough. I almost didn't go through with it. But my husband was there to support me, and I did go in 3 times during 30 minutes of crying. It did get better and better each night. Then we hit regression around night 6, but it was expected, so I knew how to deal with it. Each night continued to get better and better and eventually (around the 2 week mark) she just went down without a peep and her night wakings reduced down to only once. Then, like I said, at 9 months we dropped that night feeding (I sent my husband in when she woke up and within a few days she stopped waking). So we've been having good sleep in our house for almost 2 months! Good luck!

  2. Sleep training works! And the good thing is that your baby is plenty old enough to sleep train. We used the old tried and true Ferber method. I am in the camp that believes you are doing your whole family a favor ~ including the baby ~ when you teach your child to sleep through the night. You don't need someone to come to your house. Just read the book and follow the instructions. "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. I have also heard about BabyWise although I think it deals with more than sleep and is probably a more complicated process. Good luck! Keep us all posted.

  3. Omg, at the end of my rope here as well. I think we have a combo of teething, crawling/development stuff keeping him awake, and the worst cold is going around! Oh, that and I keep caving in on the CIO or modified check ins sleep approach. This is hard, but what an amazing guy. He's crazy mobile, grunting and screeching and smiling and laughing and exploring and just amazingly. One blessed mama. Just a sleepless one.