Sal says..

My friend Brandy has been posting funny things her son says and it made me want to start writing down the things Sal says because he makes me laugh with what comes out of his mouth, and I don't want to forget our early conversations.

Situation: Sal is looking at a paperback book that I repaired with tape after it found the hands of his page tearing sister. 

s: "Oh mom, you fixeded it!"

Me: "yes, I did. I taped the torn pages back together."

s: "I'm so impressed with you! I'm weally impressed, mom."

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Situation: Sal can't find his blue blanket. It's getting close to bedtime and he is half assededly looking for it and wants help.

S: "I just don't know where to find it"

Me: (exasperated because he isn't trying very hard to find it).. "It's almost bedtime, you better start looking harder." 

S: "oh no, you can find it mama. You just need to put on night vision goggles." 

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Situation: Gino is crying while laying on his blanket. 

S: (gets down next to Gino's face) "don't be sad, Gino. my name is Sal. I'm your bruder. I made you a house" (and runs to get the lego house we built earlier). "Someday you will weck it jus yike Carya, but dats otay, I can build it again. I good at building stuff."

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Situation: Sal got reprimanded for cheap shotting Gino with a matchbox car to the head. 

Me:" I'll take that car now"

S: "NO.YOU.WONT!"

Me:( take the car away) "you can't use it as a weapon. Cars are for driving"

S: "I don't like Gino"

Me:" I know it's a big change having a baby around, isn't it?"

S: "I don't like Gino. I think his name should be Mario"

Me: (I totally misread that conversation)

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Situation: driving next to a bus on our way to SB. 

S: "someday I'm gonna drive a school bus"

Me:" that sounds cool!"

S:"yeah, like daddy. I'm gonna drive when I'm big like him"

Me: "that's a good goal"

S: "and I gonna say fu-king as-hole!"

Me: (mortified because that's all me right there)" why would you say that?"

S:" because the other drivers might not follow the rules. The rules are important mama."

Me:" well, that word you just said--you're only allowed to say it when you're old enough to drive"

S:" oh. Okay mama. I won't say it until I'm five". 

Note to self: clean up the gutter mouth. 

And with that, I end this installment of Salism's to go wash my mouth out with soap.