Wednesday, September 3, 2014


How do I even start this post? Do I even want to write about it? Or admit it?

Well yes, I do.

Because someday, I'll look back on this time in our lives and miss when my kids were this little.

So, here goes.

My perfect angel has turned into a two year old tornado. Some call it the terrible twos, but he's really not terrible--he's just in need of guidance. And consistency. And love. And the word "no!" on repeat. I'm not one of those parents that is against using the word "no". It's totally in my vocabulary. I use it sparingly, but lately, it's the number one word in my exhausted body's vocabulary. Sometimes I just don't want to redirect or manipulate the situation with my words. I just want to say no and have that be it.

We had a situation this week where he clocked Carla in the eye with a wooden truck. 


She now has her first small shiner.

              [ Carla's shiner]

My immediate reaction was to yell "what were you thinking?!" Even though my rational self knows he isn't capable of explaining why he did it.  He could see my anger, and immediately started laughing, and went to hit her again. My go go gadget arms swiped the truck from his hand in the nick of time, saving her from another blow, and making him switch from hitting her to crying, "my truck, my truck!" because I had taken it away. I explained why I took it away, but he didn't want to apologize to his sister, so the truck became mine and lived on a shelf up high where he could see it but not touch it for the rest of the day.

That night, I refreshed my mind on two year old behavior and development, and realized that the hurting of his sister is because he may feel threatened by her, uneasy about changes to family life, or feel neglected for attention. 

I vowed to make some changes with our morning routine, so I could spend some one on one time with him. Not just side by side, or in the same room doing different activities, but actual sitting down and doing something he chose for us to do together. His sister has just started pulling to a stand (everywhere!) so he most definitely feels her presence as a threat much more than before, and uhm, hello....we're moving and preparing for transition home in the next month.

Suffice to say, I've got the trifecta of toddler stressors all on his little shoulders.

I am still quite frustrated and often want to yell when he hurts Carla, but I also feel quite sympathetic to the trials and tribulations he's undergoing these days. I wish I could have an extra set of eyes or predict his behavior so that I can trust him around Carla. I can't leave them alone together and this makes me sad. Some friends have suggested giving him big kid jobs, but he really doesn't show much interest in doing anything to help with his sister the majority of time. He just wants to sit/lay/push/poke and prod her.

I'm hoping this is just a phase, and that with consistency in discipline/redirection, he will grow up to be a protective brother. With just two years between them. I was hoping for a close relationship between the two, as so many of my friend's kids have. 

If not, we may need to build a home with two different wings and lockdown cells. 

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Please tell me it gets better!


  1. Um, wait, were you just writing about Benjamin?

    Benjamin chucked some METAL GARDEN TOOLS at both Claire and myself (sitting together) outside yesterday. Lucky for us, he's a bad aim. But he tried! That was immediately following me asking him not to take the ball from her that he (OF COURSE) wanted.

    I totally get it. And my education in human development and needs and education and all that fancy hoopla still doesn't help when we're in the line of fire.


  2. It will get better as he grows and matures. When he has a yard agsin and csn run outside to get rid of thst extra energy. You are doing an amazing job living in a high rise with 2 little ones and no running outdoor space just outside your door. Just a few more weeks!

  3. I can't tell you if it gets any better, but I can tell you that you are not alone in this! I have an almost 3 month old son and a 26-month old daughter. Today, my daughter smacked my son in the face (obviously unprovoked) and then tried to poke his eye out. She will go from lovingly patting him to just clocking him on the head. It is hard to predict and completely maddening. Luckily, my son is huge already and my daughter is pretty small, so by the time he can walk, he will probably be able to hold his own. Good luck with your two!