38 weeks and waiting...

How far? 38 weeks. Still pregnant. 

Total weight gain/loss: 32 lbs ( I've lost almost 2kg since last week) 

Maternity clothes? Maximum capacity on the leggings. I must make sure my sweater is long enough to cover my butt...because we all know that cotton Lycra turns see through when pushed to its stretch limit. I've got ONE, yes ONE shirt long enough to cover my belly. The rest ride up the hump. 

Stretch marks? None! Can I make it to the end without any? I sure hope so!

Sleep: pregnancy insomnia can go eff itself. Sorry for the profanity, but oh-em-gee I know I need to be resting up to prepare for two and I can.not.sleep. Instead, I run through scenarios of giving birth on the side of the expressway with my Chinese driver smoking a cigarette while he waits for us to deliver it ourselves, to visualizing myself in a dirty local hospital room filled with Chinese nurses and doctors doing some eastern medicine voodoo to get the baby out of me. The only scenario I struggle to visualize is that of arriving safely at the international hospital in shanghai and delivering with no complications as planned. 

Best moment this week: My sister has arrived and will stay until the 16th. 

Miss anything?: being able to walk without waddling. Sleeping through the night without peeing fifteen times. 

Movement: Yes...and it hurts. 

Food cravings: still just ice, ice, baby..even though it's cold outside. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Every night after dinner I get sick to my stomach for a half hour or so.

Gender: Girl.

Labor signs: contractions here and there. The OB I saw today says I'm progressing, but he didn't seem concerned that I would go into labor before my next visit. 

Symptoms: pressure, sore ribs

Belly Button in or out? Out.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?: Where does "no-fun-to-be-around" fit? Oh, under moody? Okay. I am really bummed that my regular OB leaves for America this month, and that the one taking my case did not agree to induce this week at 38 weeks as we did with Sal...even after hearing our reasons, which are legit. I am happy the girl is healthy. She measured well on u/s today, is head down and passed the NST.  Estimated weight 6lb7oz.  I just want her out IN.THE.HOSPITAL. which, by the way, have I mentioned is TWO HOURS AWAY, traffic willing (took 3 hrs today). Oh, I did mention this before? Yeah-I'm anxious. I have an appointment Friday for a "quick check" (again, 4-5 hours in the car at this far along is torture) and am actually hoping he says I am further dilated and need to be admitted. 

If you haven't guessed, I'm not so good at rolling with the punches. I need to work on that. This I know. 

I'm thankful that my husband is a roll with the punches guy, and he keeps reminding me that we have a healthy baby growing, which is the most important thing, of course.

Looking forward to: Spending the week with my sister. Celebrating Nick's birthday and Sal's birthday. And thinking that next Tuesday should be a pretty good day.

33 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs. This means that I didn't gain any weight in the last 2 weeks. I really haven't had much of an appetite, but I am eating...so, it's a mystery. I'm sure with a baby shower this week and a cookie exchange next week, I will make up for the lack of weight gain by my next visit. 

Maternity clothes? I left the house in my oversized Steeler sweatpants from VS, sneakers and Nick's XXL puffy jacket today. 

On our e-bike. 

No shame.

 I fit right in with my Chinese counterparts now. Matching? What's that? My challenge will be to find something comfortable and party worthy for my baby shower on Friday. 

Stretch marks? Nope, but I have some awesome blue veins showing through my belly. 

Sleep: As good as it can get overnight. I'm napping less too. 

                      [ outside Redleaf Hospital last Saturday ]

Best moment this week: We had an ultrasound last Saturday (just before 33w) and the baby measures right at her gestational age. Not bigger, not smaller...right in the middle. We didn't get any pictures, but hearing that we aren't faced with growth restriction at this point took a weight off my chest. I am so thankful to be at this point, and be so close to bringing another baby into our family. I don't take for granted a single day of carrying this child one more day. 

     [my personal assistant removing my UGGS]

Miss Anything? Breathing easily. Bending over to put shoes on instead of sitting down. Sal figured out how to unzip my UGG boots for me yesterday so I think I'll hire him for boot removal from here on out. 

Movement: Yes. Feet out my right side, and head into my bladder seem to be her favorite places to jab. 

Food cravings: melting ice and anything potato based. Cheddar ruffles, potato soup, hash browns, French fries.....

Anything making you queasy or sick: The thought of eating chicken. 

Gender: Girl.

Labor Signs: unfortunately yes. A few b-h contractions here and there. Sal is going through a phases (at least that's what I'm telling myself) where he refuses nap until I rock him to sleep. We have always just put him down and he goes to sleep--so where this insistence on being rocked comes from, I don't know. He's out within 5 minutes of me rocking, but good God he's long and heavy to be rocking with a big ol belly of my own. I have a feeling the rocking may have something to do with the increase in contractions during the early evening. 

Symptoms: Back pain, leg cramps

Belly Button in or out? Flat

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody?: Hopeful. Thankful. Happy.

Looking forward to: My baby shower this week. I look forward to an afternoon with friends.

27 weeks

    

               [hiding under my belly]

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: probably 24-25lbs by now. Was up 22 lbs last week.

Maternity clothes? Yep. Moved on to living 24/7 in leggings and a few longer tunic type shirts. So thankful for hand me downs. By the time NZ gets home I'm usually in one of his t shirts and my leggings from the day. Mama needs breathing room.

Stretch marks? Still feeling lucky that I don't have any. I brought back my kukui nut oil (Alba botanicals) from the US and have been greasing myself like a pig after my showers. I smell like vacation. I love it.

Sleep: Better some nights than others. NZ was away for a few nights so I had a king size bed to myself and stole his pillow to make myself comfy. I am still napping when Sal naps-about 2 hours a day. 

Best moment this week: Having Sal lift my shirt up and kiss my belly. It was followed by some belly button poking, but I love that he just approached me out of the blue and wanted to kiss the belly. 

Miss Anything? Diet cola. Big time. 

Movement: She has her moments of high activity but for the most part, she is much less active than Sal was...either that, or I am just too busy chasing him to notice each and every kick. She is finally kicking hard enough for NZ to feel her from the outside, which is always cool.

Food cravings: Frozen lemonade. Real Lemonade. All of which are either difficult to find or non-existent here in Wuxi. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope. 

Gender: Girl.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks when I overdo it or when I eat too much chocolate. 

Symptoms: Sore back. Difficulty getting a deep breath when she is in certain positions.

Belly Button in or out? Still in.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?: Happy with bouts of anxiety over what to do with Sal when we head to Shanghai to have his baby sister. I'm a worrier by nature. 

20 weeks [halfway there]

 How many weeks? 20 

Showing? Yes, and lately,  I can't figure out it the chatter of the Ayis is an "oh-my-Gawd-laowai-is-pregnant-and-chasing-a-toddler-alone" (the Chinese tend to see women who are pregnant as very delicate..one of them being that a pregnant woman should not exert herself, especially by carrying a 11kg toddler) or more of the "oh-my-gawd-Laowai-woman-think-she-so-special-having-more-than-one-baby". I really don't know how the Chinese feel about the laws of their country forbidding couples from having more than one child. Are they okay with that? Do they feel slighted? Are they jealous of us foreigners or the few Chinese that are allowed to have more than one? Anyone know the answer?

 Bueller?

How am I feeling? Relieved but still guarded. We had the level II anatomy scan this week and she is measuring perfectly average. All her parts appear to be functioning and in the right place. She's laying oblique, and facing my spine, just like Sal did, so we didn't get to see the picture perfect profile shot, but we got to see a glimpse as she wiggled around a bit. 

Doctor’s Appointment? Yep. Still liking my Doctor and the hospital we've chosen. She's very reassuring this far. Next appointment is scheduled for after our return from the USA. They do the 3-hr glucose tolerance test here, so I can't say I'm looking forward to that one. I'm looking at not being able to eat until 1:00pm that day due to fasting, travel time, and the 3hr test starting at 10:00am. Someone have a lemonade  on tap for me STAT.

Workouts? Sal and I walked halfway for 5k Monday with the ladies, and once to the produce market. After seeing the scale today, I ordered a prenatal workout on iTunes to try out. Mama needs exercise. 

Sleep? Still napping a ton. Starting to feel like an insomniac at night though.

Weight Gain?  Oh my, yes! 3kg in just 4 weeks! That's 6.8kg overall at the halfway point. It's the most I've gained so early in any of my pregnancies.

Baby preparation? Not this week.

Likes/Dislikes? Orange juice & cream cheese on anything. 

Say whaaaaat?

Sal wasn't sure how he felt when he heard the news...

But he came around and shares our joy....

Words can't express how excited, scared, anxious and happy we are to be expecting again. 

I  found out I was pregnant again while in California. NZ and I were out shopping and all of a sudden I felt faint.  "Nick, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant."  He didn't say anything, and I quickly dismissed the silly notion because that just doesn't happen to us. Sal was four years in the making--no way we would be so lucky to get pregnant while he's still such a little guy. 

Two days later, still feeling faint and tired, I bought a test.

Sure enough, two pink lines.

PREGNANT.

I may or may not have uttered some expletives, but they were happy expletives. 

We were scheduled to fly back to China a few days after my discovery,  so I called my old OB and they fit me in before we left to confirm we had a viable embryo.  Right away, my Doc eased my fears and said, "strong heartbeat. One baby. Six and a half weeks."

Awesome-sauce.

I got my little printout of our speck of rice, thanked the staff and headed to my car with a sigh of relief and smile on my face. That night, NZ and I raided our storage facility and pulled out my maternity clothes to bring home to China. It felt good to be pulling them back out. 

Two days later, we boarded the plane bound for China with the happiest secret in the world on our minds. 

Stay tuned for an overdose of pregnancy updates, my takes on maternity care in China and most likely a few freak outs and obsessive posts about how I'm gonna juggle a toddler and a newborn come January.

TWENTY FIVE weeks

I am a bit behind, this post should have been posted on Fri, Oct 14th..

How many weeks? 25

How am I feeling? Some mornings I wake up wondering how I got this far already. Thankfully, time seems to be flying. I am still having my moments and hours of uncertainty ( I admit to poking and prodding the belly to try and get him to move for me, which ALWAYS puts my mind at ease). Physically, I am drained. My hips are back to aching all day, and I am finding myself gassed after a simple trip to the market. But, above all else, I welcome the aches, pains, headaches and tiredness...cause you know, I'm like-totally-growing-a-baby!!

Doctor’s Appointment? I had one with my MFM, where we learned all is well. No growth restriction evident. HUGE sigh of relief. This coming week I see my OB, and hopefully all continues to go well. According to my MFM, he weighs about 1 lb 10 oz this week, which is well within normal range.

Workouts? Just getting through the workday is a workout.

Sleep? Getting plenty of it. Had a dream last night that was hilarious..NZ and I were in Vegas on some guided tour, and a PR rep for the concert venue at Caesar's approached me and told me that because of my "tweet" about Stevie Wonder (WTF?!) he was whisking us away in a private limo to have front and center seats at Stevie's concert that night. LOL. You know, after waking up and thinking about it, we totally woulda' gone, even though I can't claim to know much more about him other than the fact that he is a blind musician that sings "I just called...to say...I luuuu-uv you". I woke up with a case of the giggles which probably wasn't as funny to my ol man at 4:00 a.m. I actually had to get out of bed and go in the living room until my fit of giggles and snorts was over with.

Weight Gain? 20 lbs just crept up on me, couldn't be the donut runs we've taken, now, could it?

Baby Preparation? Well, I finally decided on a baby shower theme and ok'd the invite for the shower my sister, sis-in-law and mom have offered to throw for us. They're all so crafty, and I love the theme they chose! We need to get off our butts and make the trek to Babies-R-Us to register. I know I swore, no planning till 30 weeks, but in all reality this boy could make an early appearance, AND, my shower will be held around 30 weeks..so we HAVE to go do it soon. We're trying to keep our list down to necessities, which will hopefully make it easier.

Likes/Dislikes?

Likes? Seeing the smile on my ol man's face when the ultrasound tech told us how much they think the boy weighs right now. Also, just the fact that I am still carrying a living baby. There have been soooo many moments during this pregnancy that I didn't think I would see 25 weeks, and here we are...staring down the barrel of 26 weeks, and 70% viability at this point.

Dislikes? The moods. I feel like a 2 year old sometimes..Even making a simple decision such as what to eat for lunch can seem so overwhelming that I cry. Silly, I tell ya!

Nervous, much?

This week has been a big one for me. It marks my first week of a part time work schedule, which I will continue through October before officially retiring from my job of 6 years. To many, my limited hours and decision to stop working all together by the time I reach 27 weeks may seem premature, but for me, it's what needs to be.

Although we have (knock on wood) been fairly lucky thus far, and had only one unplanned visit to my OB's office which turned out totally okay, I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy to it's fullest..Let me rephrase that as to not sound like an ungrateful brat- I totally 100% appreciate the chance we have at parenthood...and I know there are many couples out there who are still in waiting, whether it be through infertility treatments or adoption--and my heart goes out to them-but the anxiety I have over this pregnancy has given me a run for my money.

Every week, it's something new to worry about..first it was getting a heartbeat, then it was making it to the second trimester, then it was passing the quad screen and making it to 20 weeks...now it's making it to tomorrow...

24 weeks- that's THE week. THE week that changed our lives forever last time around..THE week that taught us what it's like to grieve over loss, and to soldier on...THE week that got me dreaming of someday bringing another baby home that we'd be able to raise.

So, with the arrival of THE week, I'm understandably nervous.

This quote has been floating around pinterest for the last week or so, and I need to tattoo it to my forehead...

"99% of the things we worry about never happen."

I sure hope this is true, and that for once, just once, ahem not the 1% whose worry comes true.

FIFTEEN weeks

[photo 7/29/11]
How many weeks? 15

Showing? Totally. Although I made it through an entire lunch with my father-in-law who didn't suspect a thing..That same day, back at the office, I had two patients ask me when I'm due..so, cat's out of the bag, so to speak..however, still not making a proclamation to the world that we're expecting. Just letting it play out the way it does. My father-in-law learned two days later that we're expecting, and we also called my mom to let her know, since she will not be around to see me next weekend when the rest of the family sees me and my belly for the first time at my Grandpa's 90th (yes, he's 9-0 this year!) Birthday celebration.

How am I feeling? Fatigued. I think my low BP is to blame. I make it through the work week with nothing more than a sore back ( dang heels! I can't give them up..I'm not ready for flats yet!), but by Saturday I am pretty much looking for a soft spot to lay and vegetate. Lately, that spot has been a lounge chair in the backyard.

Doctor’s Appointment? Saw my Endocrinologist last week for a check-up, and we upped my thyroid meds, and talked about my low BP some more. I also saw my OB and I liked her much better this time around. I just about had a coronary the night before, as I opened my mail to find an authorization from my HMO group for an amnio-fricken-tesis, that I was never informed about. I tossed and turned and cried a little wondering why my MFM office never called to tell me that I had abnormal NT/1st tri screen results, and had the audacity to schedule an amnio without our consent ( for the record, I would continue this pregnancy regardless of what any test results told us). A quick call upon daylight the next morning, and the nurse assured me all my results were normal, and that the girl in charge of authorizations always requests an auth for amnio in case results would have come back abnormal. Phew! We also talked to my OB, and she too had our 1st tri screen results and said they were absolutely normal. Her only request is that I eat more, and try to gain a lb or two before my next appointment. Sure!!!!

NZ made it out to my appointment ( we have a 20 min drive to get there) just in time to hear the heartbeat by doppler. Man that thing beats fast! He also caught on to the baby moving away from the doppler, and the Ob laughed with him about the kid saying "get that thing the hell away from me". All in all, my 15 week check up was a success, despite my freak-out moment on Tuesday night.

Workouts? If lifting the spoon to my mouth while eating bowls of cereal count, then yes. Otherwise, no.

Sleep? Sleeping like a baby. Still having WILD dreams though.

Weight Gain? Yes. 2 lbs since my 6 week visit, but it feels like much more!

Baby Preparation? Nope..But we did renovate our living room and hall way this past week. I joked with NZ that every time I have been pregnant, we have remodeled a room..It's pure coincidence, but still sort of funny.

Likes/Dislikes? Fruit Loops are a huge hit this week...and fresh apricots don't stand a chance when I am around. Dislikes? Some days nothing sounds good at all. I have had a few of those this week. We had a houseguest this week, and I made the guys lasagna...it smelled delish..but two bites in and I wanted nothing to do with it..I'm italian, it isn't supposed to work that way! LOL.

THIRTEEN weeks..finally!

[July 19]

How many weeks? 13, phew..out of the first tri, but still a long way to go.

Showing? Those around me aren't shy in asking if I am expecting. So do I a) fib and tel them I'm just getting fat? or b) give in and tell the truth? I was hoping to just let people figure it out on their own.
How am I feeling? Stellar. This week has been one of happy moments, accepting that we might REALLY be bringing a breathing, living, full term baby into this world. Heartburn has subsided a little bit, and my appetite has increased. A few little aches and pains, but definitely nothing to complain about. Still nervous, but happy.

Doctor’s Appointment? I got to meet my MFM ( perinatologist/maternal fetal medicine) specialist this week. I walked into the office, to find it was standing room only, and they had a full length movie ("Hitch" for those who are interested) playing in the lobby...I thought it would go down as one of the longest waits in history, but to my surprise, I was in and out within an hour.

The tech that did my NT test was fabulous, and explained what she was looking for and what she saw every step of the way. The second sac has finally been reabsorbed, so that's a good thing..plus the MFM was very reassuring, letting me know that although I am still considered hi-risk, I am at a considerably lower risk of complications this time around due to the surgery I had last year, as well as the fact that our baby seems to be thriving with plenty of real estate in the newly remodeled uterus. Next check up with my MFM is in 6 weeks for an anatomy scan.

Workouts? I beged NZ to let me tag along to the gym one night (he rather I stay home and "bake" this baby), so he obliged and I did some light leg curls and extensions and some upper arm weights..then about 45 minutes on the treadmill. Apparently that was too much, as I was out cold on the couch about a half hour after we got home.

Sleep? I honestly think could sleep Anywhere. Anytime. Anyhow.

Weight Gain? Still just 1 lb. Hard to believe with the food I have been consuming and the drastic drop in my activity levels!

Baby Preparation? Discussed with my boss the proposed timeline to filter me out of the office. I will not be returning to my job ( more to come on that later) once the baby arrives, so it will be a big change for both the office and myself since I have been there for 6 years, and they will need to train someone to take over my position.

Likes/Dislikes? Still diggin' the sugar-free Slurpees. Fruit, carrot sticks ( yes, finally a vegetable I can stomach!) and anything cheese related have been my standbys this week. I dreamt of a Ruths' Chris Filet last night, but I doubt I can talk my ol man into driving to the Valley midweek to indulge with me..Perhaps the grill master himself can grill me a store bought filet some evening in the near future.

TWELVE

[July 12]

How many weeks? 12

Showing? Yes, but still camoflauge-able.

How am I feeling? Hello, heartburn. Everytime I eat anything at all, I feel like I have just completed the "biggest-gorge-fest-EVER-in -the -history- of- all- mankind". Okay, so that's overreacting( just a little). But seriously, I've never felt so full after eating a piece of string cheese or an apple, for that matter... in my life.

Doctor’s Appointment? Yes, we had an appointment with my new OB this past week. Jury is still out on whether I will like her or not. I fruited out ( thank Goodness NZ was there) on her when she attempted to locate a heartbeat with a doppler ( even though at 11.5 weeks it is sort of a long shot to pick it up by doppler alone) and couldn't. Her response, "Oh well. Don't worry."

That didn't go over well with me, since I learned our last child was no longer alive by means of a doppler that couldn't locate a heartbeat. Major faux-paux, Dr. K. Anyways, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting for the U/S room to open up ( and NZ calming me down), she performed an U/S that put my mind at ease. NZ and I both got to see the little italian squirming, waving and hiccuping away. I was really excited he got to be there for this appointment, as I think he really liked seeing this little person be-bopping around. As a mom, I will get to know our child by carrying him/her, but for dads, it's a bit different...I just want him to feel included in all of this.

Workouts? I hit up the treadmill for an hour to finish out my television series "Make it Or Break it"..and I cried. I walked and cried at the same time. Thank goodness no one was home to listen to me or watch me on this sad display of behavior. I love that show more than I should probably admit to.

Sleep? Napping less & staying up a tad bit later.

Weight Gain? 1 lb so far. My OB felt the need to share this with me as I'm lying on her exam table, and she adds, "you're so little, you don't even look pregnant"..Yet again, more words that do not soothe my soul. C'mon lady, tell me how HUGE my belly is for 11.5 weeks. LOL.

Baby Preparation? Zilch.

Likes/Dislikes? Slurpees are a big hit this week, as are white nectarines and apples with peanut butter. Hey, 2 out of my 3 must-haves for the week are healthy, so I'm not doing all that bad. And oh yeah- NZ made a tri-tip again this week, and I ate some. And it didn't make me barf. So that's good too.

TEN

[June 27]

How many weeks? 10

Showing? More each day. It's getting hard to find clothes to camoflauge the ever thickening waistline. I did unpack my maternity clothes and the maternity clothes that one of my besties and sis-in-laws (and two of the only people to know about this baby so far) sent my way. I may bust into the stash as soon as next week.

How am I feeling? Cautiously optimistic. Still fighting fatigue and low blood pressure ( diagnosed with hypotension last week after a fainting episode that was entirely embarassing--while standing in on a procedure at work, I fainted in front of the patient and my boss! Guess I was in the right place to have something like that happen, at least!). Also getting that "just ate thanksgiving supper" feeling after just a few bites of food. Really nothing to complain about--just hoping that my next OB visit brings more good news, because I'm still playing the daily headgame of "this could end at any moment" which I have about mastered.

Doctor’s Appointment? Not till next week. I should be 11.5 weeks by then. I look forward to meeting my OB, since last time I just saw her nurse. I had one a week and a half ago where I graduated from my RE's office..It was bittersweet, as Dr. Hubert was the one to finally diagnose my problem and worked with us every step of the way. However, our insurance doesn't cover anything from that office, so at $200 per ultrasound, it was time to move forward..After a big hug and a promise to send him a birth announcement, I was off into the land of being just a regular -pregnant-Jane again ( enter: shameless plug for FASC).

Workouts? Nada. I came down with a sore throat midweek and took it easy.

Sleep? Still can't get enough. I have been going home on my lunch hour just to catch a 30 min snooze. My dreams have been WILD though. Usually work related, which is very much on my mind since I did tell my employer about my pregnancy last week.

Weight Gain? I hope so.

Baby Preparation? We discussed our immediate needs for when the baby arrives, and what the timeline might be after arrival in terms of some other changes we have brewing.

Likes/Dislikes? I *heart* Eggs! Not just the whites, but the whole dang thing. With toast. Yum! I also opened up to broiled ham and cheese on an open pita pocket for supper.

Trying to work meat back into the rotation. I made tri-tip for NZ and the thought of eating my favorite cut of beef caused a major forcefield of aversion. And oh yeah--I may or may not have stopped at 7Eleven more than once this week for a Slurpee or three.

SIX weeks

Here we go with the catch up posts..this one originally written at the beginning of June.

[June 2011}

How far along? 6 weeks.

How am I feeling? Pretty good. There are days that I feel like I have deja vu from my early twenties. It's like waking up hungover and knowing I should eat something, but nothing sounds good at all, but most days, I feel pretty stinkin' awesome. I mean, c'mon. I'm pregnant again, right?! How could I not be cautiously optimistic that we get another chance at parenthood?

Doctor’s Appointment? I had two this week. The first one was with my RE, on Tuesday, in which we found out we had one viable fetus. We did conceive with two, but one turned out to be a blighted ovum, or empty sac. Which was totally okay with us, as there will be enough anxiety with just one, let alone twins! My second appointment was with the CNP at my new OB's office. She also did an u/s and went over my history. I haven't decided if I like her yet or not, but my next appointment in their office is with the actual OB, so I still have high hopes for a good connection.

Workouts? I've been walking on the treadmill a few times a week, and went to the gym for light weights with NZ one night, but overall, I'm pretty tired.

Sleep? I'm tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get.

Weight Gain? Not sure. I weighed in at 110 at the OB office,.

Baby Preparation? None. Spent most of the week just hoping that I was actually pregnant with a viable fetus. We have had names picked out since my very first pregnancy back in 2009. And haven't waivered from them one bit. And no, family & friends, we won't be sharing them with you until after il bambino di zentil arrives. Guess as you may, but our lips are sealed.

Likes/Dislikes? It changes from day to day. Taco Bell bean burritos have treated me kindly, as have bagels and cream cheese. These are not typical-Brie-foods so the healthy side of me kicks in when packing lunches and throws in greek yogurts, green beans, and other nutritious foods that by lunch time sound so disgusting that I have been a regular at the TBell drive thru.

Top that, Santa!

I have stumbled upon the best birthday present, Ev-ER for my husband's next Birthday, which happens to fall just 15 days after ol Santa Claus stops by our house each year.

[disclaimer: The man above is not NZ...but I am pretty sure he'd be stoked with a case of Budlight]

Add to the proximity of Christmas, the fact that my ol man also tends to buy himself whatever he wants ( I see a quiver of surfboards taking over our garage wall) before I have a chance to come up with something. I'd love to send him with a few friends on some all expense paid surf excursion, out in the boonies, where no wife in their right mind would want to hang--you know, like-- camping....in the dirt...with no bathrooms...lots of beer and sketchy locals...in Baja, or somewhere like that.

I know he'd be over the moon if I gave him something like that, but until we win the lottery, I have to be a little more frugal...This year, I've decided to go home-made...I've come up with a fantastic present for my ol man, and couldn't be more excited about it.

But before you go telling me that men don't like home-made gifts, just spare me, okay?

He's gonna like this one...

Besides, I was so excited that I already spilled the beans to him, so he totally knows what he is going to be getting...

..

..

..

..

..And we're both quite excited about it...

Yep, it's what you think it is.

il bambino di zentil

Pretty freakin' awesome, right?

Estimated delivery date: Mid January 2012 ( Nick's Birthday!)

**This post was written Memorial Day weekend, 2011, shortly after learning we'd be expecting again. We opted to zip our lips about this pregnancy as long as possible because our only experience with pregnancy is related to loss. We are thrilled at the opportunity to get another chance at parenthood, and hope that those around us support our decision/reasons behind not sharing the news sooner.

Something in the water?

There must be something in the water, because everywhere I go, there they are.

Pregnant women.

They're everywhere. The mall, the gym, the beach, the bowling alley, and facebook. They have taken over my world, or at least it seems so with my radar.

I never gave it much thought before..I used to look at them and think forward to one day sportin' a bump just like them, and I could imagine all the excitement and anxiousness they must be feeling getting ready to bring baby home.

Now I look at them, and my eyes well up.

I see them now, and I think back to that anxiousness and excitement I got to experience for 6 months. It was awesome. I had a bump. I loved my bump, and now, I miss my bump.

{My mama, me and my bump}

Of course, this is all part of the"wanting what you do not have" phenomenon. Let's face it, most of us want something that we do not have..whether it to be skinny like our BFF, popular like the girl at work, or have more money like our friend Ms. Money-bags. I get it. I really do. But I wish I didn't want what I want so bad. No matter how much harder we try, how much more money we spend, or how good of people we are, we can't make anything happen. What I want is out of our control.

I can't help but wonder if getting pregnant is just something that happens to other people now?
I am starting to feel that way.