38 weeks and waiting...

How far? 38 weeks. Still pregnant. 

Total weight gain/loss: 32 lbs ( I've lost almost 2kg since last week) 

Maternity clothes? Maximum capacity on the leggings. I must make sure my sweater is long enough to cover my butt...because we all know that cotton Lycra turns see through when pushed to its stretch limit. I've got ONE, yes ONE shirt long enough to cover my belly. The rest ride up the hump. 

Stretch marks? None! Can I make it to the end without any? I sure hope so!

Sleep: pregnancy insomnia can go eff itself. Sorry for the profanity, but oh-em-gee I know I need to be resting up to prepare for two and I can.not.sleep. Instead, I run through scenarios of giving birth on the side of the expressway with my Chinese driver smoking a cigarette while he waits for us to deliver it ourselves, to visualizing myself in a dirty local hospital room filled with Chinese nurses and doctors doing some eastern medicine voodoo to get the baby out of me. The only scenario I struggle to visualize is that of arriving safely at the international hospital in shanghai and delivering with no complications as planned. 

Best moment this week: My sister has arrived and will stay until the 16th. 

Miss anything?: being able to walk without waddling. Sleeping through the night without peeing fifteen times. 

Movement: Yes...and it hurts. 

Food cravings: still just ice, ice, baby..even though it's cold outside. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Every night after dinner I get sick to my stomach for a half hour or so.

Gender: Girl.

Labor signs: contractions here and there. The OB I saw today says I'm progressing, but he didn't seem concerned that I would go into labor before my next visit. 

Symptoms: pressure, sore ribs

Belly Button in or out? Out.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?: Where does "no-fun-to-be-around" fit? Oh, under moody? Okay. I am really bummed that my regular OB leaves for America this month, and that the one taking my case did not agree to induce this week at 38 weeks as we did with Sal...even after hearing our reasons, which are legit. I am happy the girl is healthy. She measured well on u/s today, is head down and passed the NST.  Estimated weight 6lb7oz.  I just want her out IN.THE.HOSPITAL. which, by the way, have I mentioned is TWO HOURS AWAY, traffic willing (took 3 hrs today). Oh, I did mention this before? Yeah-I'm anxious. I have an appointment Friday for a "quick check" (again, 4-5 hours in the car at this far along is torture) and am actually hoping he says I am further dilated and need to be admitted. 

If you haven't guessed, I'm not so good at rolling with the punches. I need to work on that. This I know. 

I'm thankful that my husband is a roll with the punches guy, and he keeps reminding me that we have a healthy baby growing, which is the most important thing, of course.

Looking forward to: Spending the week with my sister. Celebrating Nick's birthday and Sal's birthday. And thinking that next Tuesday should be a pretty good day.

37 weeks

How far: 37 weeks...Full Term! We freaking made it. I feel like I should give an Oscars-like speech to thank my friends and family and most of all husband for their support. There were many minutes, hours, days, and weeks I wondered if I would ever see full term again. I know it ain't over yet, but a little weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

                    

                                 Holy belly. Happy to have hit 37 weeks.

Total weight gain/loss: 36 lbs 

Maternity clothes? Pajamas at home. Nicks jackets when I have to go out. I actually wore jeans and a cute shirt and scarf to the store today....I haven't given up completely.

Stretch marks? My belly is so itchy. I think I may have sprouted one on my underbelly so we shall see what it looks like once I can see south of the belly button again. 

Sleep: pregnancy insomnia has come back with a vengeance. I'm usually laying awake from 1:30-5:30 every morning. I tend to drift back to sleep as the alarm clock goes off. 

Best moment this week: Spending time with my son just reading books and counting everything in sight with him. He has recently started counting and is infatuated with reciting numbers. I am holding on tight to our one on one time, as I know that he will have to share me soon. 

Miss anything?: A cold beer on a Friday night, a pair of jeans that fit just right. 

Movement: Yes. Some of it is getting painful. 

Food cravings: crushed ice. Still. Unfortunately, I doubt I will be given ice pellets while in labor. The Chinese tend to opt for hot water to keep the "internal fire" burning. I highly doubt the nurses will let the white lady extinguish her fire with ice. Plus, it's almost impossible to find here. Most soda in restaurants served from an unrefrigerated can. Mcd's is about the only place one can get ice in their drinks.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Every night after dinner I get sick to my stomach for a half hour or so.

Gender: Girl.

Labor signs: not really. Baby had a NST on Saturday and passed with flying colors. She still hasn't dropped, but is head down. My next appointment is in one week with a new OB. My OB is being sent to the USA next week so, she has passed me off to an American OB who happens to be the chef medical director of the hospital. I'm in good hands, but obviously sad that my OB will miss the birth. She really has been wonderful. Hopefully the new OB will agree to induce within the week as we had previously discussed with my regular one.

Symptoms: some sharp pains below my belly button, dry mouth, waddling

Belly Button in or out? Out

Wedding rings on or off? Back on this week. 

Happy or Moody?: Anxious. Especially with the curveball we were thrown at my last visit (learning that my OB will not be able to deliver for us). Happy though, to have the chance to hit full term and hopefully bring a healthy baby home soon.

Looking forward to: Meeting the new OB and having my sister arrive. Getting a delivery day on the books. It's possible that either NZ (1/9) or Sal (1/13) will be sharing a birthday with her. 

35 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I gained 2.2 kg since my last appointment to make up for the lack of weight gain from the previous visit. I guess all those cookies at the cookie exchange and my baby shower packed em on. I'm now up 32lbs, just shy of what I weighed while pregnant with Sal at this point. 

Maternity clothes? Baby, it's cold outside. Been wearing my steelers sweatpants, UGGS and Nick's sweatshirt most days.

Stretch marks? Still clear.

Sleep: Much better than last week. Thank goodness! 

Best moment this week: We had an impromptu ultrasound in which we got to see the girl last Saturday. My OB was worried about my cervix so she ordered an ultrasound to measure baby and predict size etc, in case she comes early. She weighed in at 2777 grams which is just about 5 lbs. 

Miss Anything? I miss being able to get up and down off the floor to play with Sal. We've watched way too many cartoons and played with the tozzle app from the comfort of the sofa more than I'd like to admit. 

Movement: Yes. With contortionist proportions. It's the creepiest feeling. Don't get me wrong, I love it...but it's creepy. 

Food cravings: crushed ice. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chicken

Gender: Girl.

Labor Signs: My OB was concerned that my cervix may be shortening a bit prematurely, so she has asked me to slow down, and ordered me not to pick Sal up any more than necessary. Other than that, I'm feeling quite well. 

Symptoms: I feel very emotional. I feel exhausted. I feel overwhelmed. I feel anxious. I just want to know that we will make it to the hospital and have a safe birth. I'm not scared, just anxious. 

                    [my out-ish belly button debuted this week] 

Belly Button in or out? Out

Wedding rings on or off? On, barely.

Happy or Moody?: Both. Happy to still be pregnant and healthy, but I feel like I am short tempered. For instance, a lady cut in front of me and walked into NZ at the train station last week. She bumped my belly while doing so. NZ had stopped as the lady walked into him, and then tried to make it hard for her to get around us (she literally walked right into us trying to cut across the path we were walking), so she pushed me a little. I put both my hands on her to spin her around and yelled "look at my belly!" She obviously didn't understand and kept pushing so I yelled really loud (and according to Nick I tried to hit her!) "effing bi+ch!" . We really should be careful doing stuff like that in public here because as laowai, we are more apt to get jumped for public outbursts. I was just so angry that she didn't just wait til we had passed so she could change her direction, and for the fact she knocked my belly more than once. So yeah--my shoving match was not exactly exemplary citizenship. 

Looking forward to: Baking this baby a few weeks longer. 

A huge shoutout and Thankyou to Heather and Mimi this week for offering to watch Sal and for grocery shopping for us. I appreciate all the help, and I'm thankful for friends that will go the extra mile. These two have made it possible for me to take it easy and keep this kid safe inside a bit longer. 

33 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs. This means that I didn't gain any weight in the last 2 weeks. I really haven't had much of an appetite, but I am eating...so, it's a mystery. I'm sure with a baby shower this week and a cookie exchange next week, I will make up for the lack of weight gain by my next visit. 

Maternity clothes? I left the house in my oversized Steeler sweatpants from VS, sneakers and Nick's XXL puffy jacket today. 

On our e-bike. 

No shame.

 I fit right in with my Chinese counterparts now. Matching? What's that? My challenge will be to find something comfortable and party worthy for my baby shower on Friday. 

Stretch marks? Nope, but I have some awesome blue veins showing through my belly. 

Sleep: As good as it can get overnight. I'm napping less too. 

                      [ outside Redleaf Hospital last Saturday ]

Best moment this week: We had an ultrasound last Saturday (just before 33w) and the baby measures right at her gestational age. Not bigger, not smaller...right in the middle. We didn't get any pictures, but hearing that we aren't faced with growth restriction at this point took a weight off my chest. I am so thankful to be at this point, and be so close to bringing another baby into our family. I don't take for granted a single day of carrying this child one more day. 

     [my personal assistant removing my UGGS]

Miss Anything? Breathing easily. Bending over to put shoes on instead of sitting down. Sal figured out how to unzip my UGG boots for me yesterday so I think I'll hire him for boot removal from here on out. 

Movement: Yes. Feet out my right side, and head into my bladder seem to be her favorite places to jab. 

Food cravings: melting ice and anything potato based. Cheddar ruffles, potato soup, hash browns, French fries.....

Anything making you queasy or sick: The thought of eating chicken. 

Gender: Girl.

Labor Signs: unfortunately yes. A few b-h contractions here and there. Sal is going through a phases (at least that's what I'm telling myself) where he refuses nap until I rock him to sleep. We have always just put him down and he goes to sleep--so where this insistence on being rocked comes from, I don't know. He's out within 5 minutes of me rocking, but good God he's long and heavy to be rocking with a big ol belly of my own. I have a feeling the rocking may have something to do with the increase in contractions during the early evening. 

Symptoms: Back pain, leg cramps

Belly Button in or out? Flat

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody?: Hopeful. Thankful. Happy.

Looking forward to: My baby shower this week. I look forward to an afternoon with friends.

Anxiousness

Six weeks and counting.

Feelings of anxiousness are filling my body.

It's not anxiety over giving birth, or making the two hour drive to the hospital, but about Sal.

I've never been away from him for more than a few hours. Ever.

We have arranged to fly my sister out from California to stay for two weeks, which will coincide with my planned induction date and recovery. I trust her 100% in taking care of Sal, and giving him her full attention. But I can't let go of the sad feelings I am already have when I think about leaving him for a few days. I worry he won't nap for her. I worry he will have trouble going down for bedtime. I worry he we call out my name with that heartbreaking sob of his and not be consolable. I worry he will feel abandoned. 

I've had offers from friends here to "practice" leaving him, but somewhere along the way, my mind has been stuck in the mindset that I should be with him at all times. Sure, I've had daydreams of getting away, and I have gone out on my own a few times (but Nick is usually home, or my friend Heather watches him), but it is usually because I really need to go on an errand or something...not just because. And we're talking an hour. Not all day. Not overnight. An hour or two, max. 

The rational side of me knows he will be okay. He's in the best hands (besides ours) that we could think of. He will get to stay in his own home, sleep in his own bed, and have his auntie all to himself. He looooves his aunt Stephanie. I know my sister will have invitations to join my friends for coffee, playground visits, and produce market walks. I know she will keep him busy and love on him.

It's just a couple of days. Not forever. 

That being said, I still can't shake this feeling of anxiety over leaving my little man.

27 weeks

    

               [hiding under my belly]

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: probably 24-25lbs by now. Was up 22 lbs last week.

Maternity clothes? Yep. Moved on to living 24/7 in leggings and a few longer tunic type shirts. So thankful for hand me downs. By the time NZ gets home I'm usually in one of his t shirts and my leggings from the day. Mama needs breathing room.

Stretch marks? Still feeling lucky that I don't have any. I brought back my kukui nut oil (Alba botanicals) from the US and have been greasing myself like a pig after my showers. I smell like vacation. I love it.

Sleep: Better some nights than others. NZ was away for a few nights so I had a king size bed to myself and stole his pillow to make myself comfy. I am still napping when Sal naps-about 2 hours a day. 

Best moment this week: Having Sal lift my shirt up and kiss my belly. It was followed by some belly button poking, but I love that he just approached me out of the blue and wanted to kiss the belly. 

Miss Anything? Diet cola. Big time. 

Movement: She has her moments of high activity but for the most part, she is much less active than Sal was...either that, or I am just too busy chasing him to notice each and every kick. She is finally kicking hard enough for NZ to feel her from the outside, which is always cool.

Food cravings: Frozen lemonade. Real Lemonade. All of which are either difficult to find or non-existent here in Wuxi. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope. 

Gender: Girl.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks when I overdo it or when I eat too much chocolate. 

Symptoms: Sore back. Difficulty getting a deep breath when she is in certain positions.

Belly Button in or out? Still in.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?: Happy with bouts of anxiety over what to do with Sal when we head to Shanghai to have his baby sister. I'm a worrier by nature. 

26 weeks

How many weeks: 26

How am I feeling? Exhausted? Our California trip wiped me out. Between our later bedtimes and a non-napping toddler I'm feeling the aftermath of a lack of routine hardcore this week. I felt physically sick the first few days back home. 

Doctor’s Appointment? I was scheduled for the dreaded glucose test and an OB visit last week. Visit went great (still loving my OB) and I passed the test. No gestational diabetes for us.

Workouts? Stroller pushing to get errands done. My friend Mimi and I have been walking laps around the complex for about an hour in the evenings this week. It's nice to have a walking partner. 

Sleep? Terrible. Insomnia plus jet lag strike again.

Weight Gain?  1.8kg since my last OB appt. We enjoyed every minute of our California eating frenzy. 

Baby preparation? Unpacking the loads of clothes and baby paraphernalia we brought back

Likes/Dislikes? Loves: Huberts lemonade from Sprouts market. I miss it already.

22 weeks

How many weeks: 22

Showing? Everything on me has grown this time. Arms, butt, stomach, chins....feeling more and more like Jessica Simpson, daily. Not knocking her by any means, but you know how some women only grow a cute belly....and others grow everywhere? I'm feeling the latter. 

How am I feeling? Tired. Achy. Hopeful. Really relieved to be feeling jabs and kicks more regularly. The first time I was absolutely positive I felt the girl (and not gas) was at 20w4d. So much for feeling consecutive pregnancies earlier and earlier. She held out on me! 

Doctor’s Appointment? No OB visits til October. A looooong 5 week stretch ( due to travel) between appointments this time. I will see my endocrinologist next week when I'm stateside. He's worth traveling a million miles for. 

Workouts? Just walking. Been walking about 1-2 miles 3x a week. This afternoon, my trusty napper decided to babble for two hours in his crib before I caved and plopped him in our stroller for a ride. Twenty minutes into a walk I didn't really want to be on, he cashed in his chips, so I hightailed it home and parked my butt on the couch while he slept the afternoon away.  Mom wins.

 I had downloaded a Summer Sanders prenatal workout and OMG it is way beyond my abilities. Ab work and squats while pregnant? I thought this was a no-no? I'm bummed I paid for a workout I am not comfortable doing. Guess I will Improvise some upper body work and light legs myself. I should have known better than to download a video without watching a preview first. Mom loses.

Sleep? Still napping a ton. Nights are rough. Between nightmares (now courtesy of Breaking Bad episodes) and waking to pee every couple hours, I'm feeling like I hit my sleep stride right as our alarm goes off each morning. 

Weight Gain?  Oh my, yes! Another .4 kg since last week! Holy hell, batman! 

Baby preparation? Nope.

Likes/Dislikes? Orange juice and grapes.

20 weeks [halfway there]

 How many weeks? 20 

Showing? Yes, and lately,  I can't figure out it the chatter of the Ayis is an "oh-my-Gawd-laowai-is-pregnant-and-chasing-a-toddler-alone" (the Chinese tend to see women who are pregnant as very delicate..one of them being that a pregnant woman should not exert herself, especially by carrying a 11kg toddler) or more of the "oh-my-gawd-Laowai-woman-think-she-so-special-having-more-than-one-baby". I really don't know how the Chinese feel about the laws of their country forbidding couples from having more than one child. Are they okay with that? Do they feel slighted? Are they jealous of us foreigners or the few Chinese that are allowed to have more than one? Anyone know the answer?

 Bueller?

How am I feeling? Relieved but still guarded. We had the level II anatomy scan this week and she is measuring perfectly average. All her parts appear to be functioning and in the right place. She's laying oblique, and facing my spine, just like Sal did, so we didn't get to see the picture perfect profile shot, but we got to see a glimpse as she wiggled around a bit. 

Doctor’s Appointment? Yep. Still liking my Doctor and the hospital we've chosen. She's very reassuring this far. Next appointment is scheduled for after our return from the USA. They do the 3-hr glucose tolerance test here, so I can't say I'm looking forward to that one. I'm looking at not being able to eat until 1:00pm that day due to fasting, travel time, and the 3hr test starting at 10:00am. Someone have a lemonade  on tap for me STAT.

Workouts? Sal and I walked halfway for 5k Monday with the ladies, and once to the produce market. After seeing the scale today, I ordered a prenatal workout on iTunes to try out. Mama needs exercise. 

Sleep? Still napping a ton. Starting to feel like an insomniac at night though.

Weight Gain?  Oh my, yes! 3kg in just 4 weeks! That's 6.8kg overall at the halfway point. It's the most I've gained so early in any of my pregnancies.

Baby preparation? Not this week.

Likes/Dislikes? Orange juice & cream cheese on anything. 

18 weeks

Showing? Hello maternity clothes, goodbye in-between clothes.

How am I feeling? A bit more relaxed this week since we got a good report last week...I do feel the anxiety creeping in though. I've been feeling flutters but always second guess myself as to whether they are real or not. I learned the hard way that getting up too fast will make me faint. One night last week, NZ locked himself out so I hopped up out of bed to ring him in, and as I waited against the door for him to come up the elevator, I passed out cold. He knocked to no avail so he returned to his friends to get his keys and when he came back home I had come to and was back in bed with a battle wound.

      note to self: get up slowly, or you'll pass the eff out!

Doctor’s Appointment? Nope. 3 weeks to go until our anatomy scan.

 Workouts? Sal and I walked to the vegetable market and I got out my 5lb dumbells for some tricep and shoulder workouts. Just to do something. Going crazy without regular exercise.

 Sleep? My nightmares about the baby dying were replaced with crazy Sons of Anarchy dreams, thanks to marathon watching of season 1&2 in less than a week.

 Weight Gain? Probably. Even my maternity shorts are feeling tight!

 Baby preparation? I bought a petunia picklebottom layette on eBay (we love their receiving blankets for swaddling) and bid on some gdiaper covers since I need more smalls.  I also ordered fabrics for crib sheets (thank you sister for making them for me!)

                                           Can't wait to see these in the crib

I hate that I'm already ordering things for the baby because I am so worried that something will still go wrong, but because of our circumstances of living overseas, I've got to get the imported things while we visit the US next month.

 Likes/Dislikes? 

Dislikes: Garlic, which is cah-razy because garlic is a staple in our household. 

Likes: lemon, gummi candies, tortillas and cream cheese.

It's a......

                            

                                                              Girl!!!!

I found a duck call onesie on etsy and sent a picture of it to my pop along with, "would grandpa Jet take HER hunting in this outfit?"

My dad,an avid outdoorsman/hunter, answered back, "Hell yes, she can".

Gender aside, we are happy to be expecting what has so far turned out to be a healthy, growing baby.

May it be smooth sailing til January!

16/17 weeks

How many weeks? 16/17

      Photo from 16w6d

Showing? Yes.

How am I feeling? Scared out of my mind. Uneasy. Anxious. I was so used to having appointments every two weeks in the states (OB, and MFM specialist) that having to wait four weeks between each visit here really messes with my head. I need constant confirmation that this baby is still alive and thriving. 

Doctor’s Appointment? I saw an OB at the new hospital. She was very attentive and interested in understanding my history of losses. I even had an ultrasound in 3D/4D! I was especially touched by the nurse who accompanied us to the ultrasound picking Sal up when he started to fuss. She brought him to my side and held him while Nick and I paid attention to the ultrasound. We went in not knowing what to expect but I walked out a very satisfied patient. Next visit is in four weeks for the level II anatomy scan.

Workouts? Sal and I walked to the vegetable market a couple of times in the 100+ degree heat. The day we went to Shanghai was 102 f but the real feel was 114! It's brutal. I should find something to keep active as I gained more weight the last four weeks than I thought I had. 

Sleep? I am still napping while Sal naps to make up for my exhausting nightmares and wild dreams that I've been having.

Weight Gain?  Oh my, yes! 2.8kg (that's like 6 lbs, in four weeks!)

Baby preparation? We chose a hospital for all of my care and purchased thE prenatal and birth packages. I also ordered the second seat for the stroller and our cousin has offered to pick up the carseat adapter on craigslist for us. I'm having to break my not-buying-anything-until-30 weeks rule this time around because some of the things we need are only available in the USA and we will need to bring them back with us next month.  

Likes/Dislikes? Apples and peanut butter, apple juice 50/50 with water, cream cheese, frozen grapes, water with lots of lemon