SIX weeks

Here we go with the catch up posts..this one originally written at the beginning of June.

[June 2011}

How far along? 6 weeks.

How am I feeling? Pretty good. There are days that I feel like I have deja vu from my early twenties. It's like waking up hungover and knowing I should eat something, but nothing sounds good at all, but most days, I feel pretty stinkin' awesome. I mean, c'mon. I'm pregnant again, right?! How could I not be cautiously optimistic that we get another chance at parenthood?

Doctor’s Appointment? I had two this week. The first one was with my RE, on Tuesday, in which we found out we had one viable fetus. We did conceive with two, but one turned out to be a blighted ovum, or empty sac. Which was totally okay with us, as there will be enough anxiety with just one, let alone twins! My second appointment was with the CNP at my new OB's office. She also did an u/s and went over my history. I haven't decided if I like her yet or not, but my next appointment in their office is with the actual OB, so I still have high hopes for a good connection.

Workouts? I've been walking on the treadmill a few times a week, and went to the gym for light weights with NZ one night, but overall, I'm pretty tired.

Sleep? I'm tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get.

Weight Gain? Not sure. I weighed in at 110 at the OB office,.

Baby Preparation? None. Spent most of the week just hoping that I was actually pregnant with a viable fetus. We have had names picked out since my very first pregnancy back in 2009. And haven't waivered from them one bit. And no, family & friends, we won't be sharing them with you until after il bambino di zentil arrives. Guess as you may, but our lips are sealed.

Likes/Dislikes? It changes from day to day. Taco Bell bean burritos have treated me kindly, as have bagels and cream cheese. These are not typical-Brie-foods so the healthy side of me kicks in when packing lunches and throws in greek yogurts, green beans, and other nutritious foods that by lunch time sound so disgusting that I have been a regular at the TBell drive thru.

Something in the water?

There must be something in the water, because everywhere I go, there they are.

Pregnant women.

They're everywhere. The mall, the gym, the beach, the bowling alley, and facebook. They have taken over my world, or at least it seems so with my radar.

I never gave it much thought before..I used to look at them and think forward to one day sportin' a bump just like them, and I could imagine all the excitement and anxiousness they must be feeling getting ready to bring baby home.

Now I look at them, and my eyes well up.

I see them now, and I think back to that anxiousness and excitement I got to experience for 6 months. It was awesome. I had a bump. I loved my bump, and now, I miss my bump.

{My mama, me and my bump}

Of course, this is all part of the"wanting what you do not have" phenomenon. Let's face it, most of us want something that we do not have..whether it to be skinny like our BFF, popular like the girl at work, or have more money like our friend Ms. Money-bags. I get it. I really do. But I wish I didn't want what I want so bad. No matter how much harder we try, how much more money we spend, or how good of people we are, we can't make anything happen. What I want is out of our control.

I can't help but wonder if getting pregnant is just something that happens to other people now?
I am starting to feel that way.