Christmas Tree

Looks like the Dollar Tree threw up on our table

Here in China, our Christmas tree, purchased off a chinese site which is a cross between amazon and eBay, came with lights, a fake tree which stands about 4 feet tall, and a HUGE bag of decorations that look like someone had a shopping Bonanza at the dollar tree.

It's not what we would have at home, by any means, but it is our tree this year, and Sal seems to dig it.

Thank goodness kids are so easy to please.

Pandas & Chickens

Just before we left for California, Nick hired an assistant.

She's made life a whole lot easier, with her broad knowledge on business, Chinese government and the such. She has also provided us with what I like to call "street smart slang.

 

NZ, Sal and I are "Pandas".

You know how everyone likes to go to the zoo and watch the pandas? For the Chinese, watching a family of Americans is just like going to see the pandas.

They can't keep their eyes off of us because they are intrigued by everything we do.

We also learned from his assistant that there are two kinds of chickens...I'm not referring to a Rhode Island Red vs. a California gray but chicken, chickens, and female Chick-ens...known to Americans as ladies of the night, call girls, slutty mc sluttersons, hookers, prostitutes.

 

As a woman, you do not want to be called a chicken.

 

Duly noted.

I had to laugh when Nick passed on this wealth of information to me, because it occurred while we were at the local outdoor market about to buy a chicken. We needed help from his assistant in asking the butcher to remove the neck and feet of the chicken. So, Nick calls his assistant, and the conversation went a something like this....

 

NZ: " hi, K. I'm down behind the vegetable market, and I want to bargain for a chicken."

(I don't know what her response was, but it required some clarification by NZ)

NZ: " A chicken, chicken.  Not a girl."


I want the biggest Hen you've got.



While K. Did the translation for us to bargain for a chicken, chicken (complete with picking male vs female and sorting out the butchering details-"no, we don't want the stomach or intestines. No, we don't need the legs or head."), NZ explained to me that women who sell themselves are also called chickens.



Wei? Ni Hao.
( we sanitized the crap outta his phone after the chicken wrangler bargained with K.)


It gave me a good laugh, and now I smile every time I think about his phone call to his assistant.."uhm, yeah, I'm out back, about to buy a chicken...."... Poor assistant probably thought to herself, "what did I get myself  into? My boss wants me to barter with a chicken for him?"

Stay tuned for more street smart slang. I'm sure there's tons to come.

Never a dull moment.

Oh, and..I learned this...when eating with chopsticks, and finishing your meal (or even taking a breather), do NOT put your chopsticks in the bowl pointing downward...instead, lay them across your bowl. Putting your chopsticks in the bowl, pointing downward is like telling the cook you want to kill him.

That was my big Wuxi whoopsie.

Always learning.

Sweaters & socks

Fall has arrived in China.

 

Thank goodness!

That summer heat was NO joke.

Sweltering, I tell ya.

I whole heartedly welcome the cooler, slightly crisp mornings we've been having. In fact, I've even started running with Sal after NZ leaves for the office. I use the term "running" loosely..it's more of a run, jog, speed walk, gasp for air, flail my arms kind of outing..but I do it, and that's all that matters, right? I suit up in Capri leggings and a short sleeve T, and Sal usually sports a long sleeve onesie and some athletic pants. Perfect for the weather.

It's quickly become apparent to me, that Sal and I (and some of our expat friends) are the only ones who find this weather enjoyable.

Looking at any Chinese out and about, it's obvious they believe otherwise.

We're talking winter coats on adults, children in layers upon layers, and babies dressed up in fleece suits and covered with blankets.

Clearly, it's cold in their eyes.

So, as with anything here that's different, or out of the norm, we get stared at on our daily run. I get stares, glares, and even yelled at.

Why are they yelling at me?

Because Sal needs a sweater.

Yes, I've been flagged down more than once to be reprimanded for my child a) not wearing socks, and b) not wearing a jacket.

People, we're talking high 60's, low 70's here.

Not cold. Comfortable.

I usually charade back and forth ( or just keep running) that he is okay. He's not cold ( the sweaty nape of his neck seems to be sufficient evidence-my kid's a furnace), he's not going to get sick ( Chinese culture believes that cold weather makes one catch colds), and we're just fine without the unsolicited advice.

Most of the time I let the looks of disgust roll of my back, but every so often it really gets to me. I have to remind myself that this is just a cultural difference between us and them...and that neither way is wrong. Just different.

I can't wait to see what happens when true winter rolls around. I picture little Chinese boys and girls wobling around like the kid in "A Christmas Story", barely able to move in his/her snowsuit..all the while, we finally cave in and put sweaters on.

Cause you know, we don't want to catch a cold or anything.

Denied

Guess who won't be watching the Olympic games here in China?

Yes, it's upside down.

I'm too lazy to try and fix the image.

It reads" Olympic video on the internet is only available to users in the United States and US territories."

Guess those of us Americans living overseas are out of luck.

Thanks, NBC.