Farewell Hedder & fam

 Life as an expat family is a unique experience. Most of us come over with contracts for a set amount of time, and once that time is up, we head back to our homelands. It's a revolving door of people coming and going around here. 

I've done alright with the goodbyes we have had to say thus far--although I won't lie-- they were difficult.  Now I'm staring down the barrel of our next goodbye and it's going to be the hardest one yet. 

I met Heather two weeks after moving to Wuxi. Nick and I were walking a restless 5 month around our compound when we spotted another white couple on the playground with a little boy. As we approached the couple, I remember being hopeful that they spoke English. That's when I heard a sweet southern "hey ya'll" from the woman who would go on to become one of my best friends here. 

She immediately took me under her wing (she had already been here 18 months) and showed me how and where to get groceries and introduced me to new friends. Even better yet, she had a son that was a year older than Sal. 

Sal and Aiden became buddies, and we spent many of our days hanging out together. She has become a second mama to Sal and he affectionately calls her "Hedder". Most of our good times and memories include Aiden and Hedder.  

In just a few days, their family will return to the states....

For good. 

Goodbye Ratliff family--so happy to have shared the past 18 months with you as our second family. You will be greatly missed. 

A walk down memory lane...

The boys at one of our many Starbucks trips. Don't look so excited, Sal.

Sal and his Hedder watching fireworks for his first birthday. 

The day we thought it was a good idea to go grocery shopping in the snow together...

After a long day of pediatrician visits and lunch in shanghai...

An afternoon finding rock treasures...

Sal's first friend, ever. 

Baking days at Heather's. That's Sal in the kitchen "mixing" with her...

At one of the many parties Heather hosted. This one happened to be a holiday cookie exchange, which equalled heaven for a pregnant girl. 

We're seriously going to miss them. 

Like. Seriously.

Whatcha wanna know?

During our recent trip back to the states, NZ and I both fielded a ton of similar questions asked by our friends, family and colleagues about our current lifestyle in Wuxi. I've compiled a list of FAQ's, but if anyone has any questions that aren't listed, go ahead and ask me in the comments section.

     

1- What's Wuxi like?

    This is a pretty general question, but our answer is usually along the lines of "it's a newer, smaller (million people) city about 2.5 hours north west of Shanghai. There is a lake, called Lake Taihu in our city, but it's not the type of lake anyone from the US would every swim or fish in. Like any city in China, we deal with pollution on a regular basis. Although new, Wuxi is quite dirty and offers fewer western familiarities than a bigger city such as BeiJing or Shanghai would. There is a ton of new construction going up, so new shopping malls and apartments open every month. The big news on the block is that we finally got a mall with Claire's (you got that right-Claire's accesories= big news!) Wuxi's hitting the big time now (:

2- What do you eat?

     We cook most of our own food. And by "cook our own food", I'm talking from scratch. We eat very similar to how we would eat back in CA, but with fewer selections. We eat much less meat --not because it isn't available, but because it just isn't that good here. The beef we do buy is imported from Australia and quite spendy. We have bought live chickens a couple of times and been disappointed. The chickens sold at the local market are often old and straight out of someone's yard. The result is stringy, chewy meat.  Our most popular cuisine here happens to be Mexican. We make our own mock refried beans and tortillas and are thankful cilantro and onions are available here. We do miss ourselves some CA avocados though! 

    

When we go out to eat, we have two local favorites. One is a Muslim noodle house which make fresh noodles in the front of the store, and add them to broth with veggies like bok choy. The other is jiaozi, which are usually pork mixed with cabbage, celery or mushrooms folded inside little wonton wrappers and then boiled. We also like their spicy green beans. 

    

 Wuxi has Western fast food joints.  Subway, Mcdonalds, Burger King, Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen, KFC and Dunkin Donuts are the ones that come to mind. I'm embarrassed to admit that although we don't frequent ANY of those restaraunts in the US, we've been to them all a time or two here. What can I say? Our kid is a chicken nugget fiend. 

                           

                               Sal scored some fruit and jiaozi from our fruit vendor

3-Where do you buy food?

     We make an effort to eat a lot of produce, which I purchase at the local produce market about half a mile away. They sell seasonal fruit and vegetables, as well as spices & meats (both alive and dead) --but as I mentioned above we buy our meat elsewhere. The produce market is not ventilated well, and there is no refrigeration. Just imagine the stench of the meat section during summer....it's bad. As for sanitizing our haul? I have found that an hour long soak in a vinegar water or iodine water solution works well. None of us have gotten sick from eating fresh produce yet.

                            

                                        Vinegar/water soak to remove bacteria

       There are two supermarkets we frequent. One is French owned Auchan supermarket, which has the only decent cheese in town. And by decent cheese, I mean they carry more than just processed cheese slices or tubes o' cheese products.The selection still isn't anything to get excited about. They also carry some tortilla chips that we like, as well as fresh baguette bread. 

   

                                                A typical Saturday at Auchan

       Our main shopping is done at MeTRO, which reminds me of a Chinese version of Food4Less. It's a warehouse style market with forklifts dodging shopping carts during most shopping excursions. We buy most of our grazing food (nuts, popcorn, crackers) here, as well as UHT milk, butter, Australian beef, tortillas and our household items like toilet paper and baby wipes here. 

4- How do you figure out where to find things?

      Word of mouth. Generous fellow expats. My husband's assistant. Whenever one of my friends or I run across something we think the others would like or have mentioned needing, we text one another and buy it for the person-because things are often here one day, gone the next. When I'm out on my own, I use google translate a lot to ask questions or give directions. I managed to find neosporin and iodine on my own at the pharmacy a few weeks ago and high fived myself all the way home. I also use a website called taobao.com for online shopping. The best way to describe it is a cross between amazon and eBay. I need my husband's assistant to help with purchases and some translation, but she is a really good sport about it. I've bought everything from graham crackers to butt paste to toys from taobao sellers.

5- Know any Chinese yet?

     Sadly, very little. Neither NZ or I have put forth the effort to take lessons or do an online program. It's such a complex language. I know a handful of words and phrases and my numbers. Knowing your numbers here is key to survival. 

                          

                              Does he understand what his playmates are saying?

                                                   Only time will tell.

6- Does Sal speak Mandarin?

     We think he understands some words. Our ayi speaks to him every afternoon. The other day I realized he was counting from 1-10 in mandarin with her! He also attempts to say zaijian (bye) when prompted.

7- What do you do during the day?

      The driver usually picks NZ up for work between 7or 8 each day. Sal and I get dressed by 9:00 and head out for some sort of activity a few days each week. We are members of the Wuxi International club, which is growing in size each month. Every month WIC hosts a luncheon, a coffee morning, play groups, BBQ's etc to  partake in. 

Here's our usual week: On Mondays we meet a group of expats in our complex and walk to the local Starbucks for the morning. 

                  At the local produce market having pants hemmed at my tailor

       Tuesdays and Thursdays we usually walk to the vegetable market and then go home to Skype with my sister. Wednesday mornings I try to use the driver to take us grocery shopping or on errands, and on Fridays we often spend the morning at a friend's house playing in her basement.  Lunchtime is between 11:45 and 12:15 followed by a 2-3 hour nap. 

                 

        Our ayi arrives at the end of naptime and works til 5:00p while Sal and I do our best to stay out of her way. Lately we have been taking afternoon walks around the complex, or playing at the playground. NZ usually arrives home around 6:15 for dinner, then it's bath time and bed for the boy while we stay up later watching Netflix shows. 

8- What's the weather like?

     December until the end of March is fuh-reezing cold. Usually just gray skies and rain, but occasionally we get snow. 

                                                         January 2013

April starts to warm up, and May and June are t shirt and shorts weather. 

The only drawback during these months is the higher pollution levels. Puts a damper on outside play some days. 

                      

                        May 2013. Perfect weather for a walk thru Nanchan

By the end of June, and for the entire July and August and beginning of September it is stifling hot and humid. Some days it is so hot that we don't even leave the house. Mid September through November are the best months. Lower pollution levels, clear skies and nice temperate weather. If anyone ever wants to visit us, these are the months to do it. 

9- What does your apartment look like?

                

                                      Our apartment "grounds"

We live in a gated complex along with many other Chinese and expats. By China standards, we live very well. Our apartment has a balcony and is located on the 25th floor of a 27 story building. Minus the garage, it's the same square footage of our house in California. We have three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a small kitchen, a large pantry (even by US standards), a laundry room and a nice sized living room with hardwood floors and tile. 

   Our pantry room...Full of food, car seats and surfboards.

The apartment came furnished and we are the first inhabitants, so everything is "new". The furnishings are cheap and Chinese, and everything we have added to the mix has been courtesy of IKEA. Look around any expat home and you're sure to see an IKEA expedit or two. We all shop there.

Our refrigerator is a side by side, just like we might have at home, but we do not have a full size oven or a dishwasher. We have a two burner gas range and a countertop toaster oven that we work magic with. My washing machine doubles as a dryer--most people in China don't use electric dryers, but instead hang clothes to dry. I'm thankful for imported dryer sheets and my dryer to keep shirts, socks and underwear soft. Too bad a full wash and dry load takes four hours! 

10- What do you miss the most?

                        

                              Someday we will smell the salty air again.

         Family, friends, our neighbors, our house, our yard, driving cars, temperate weather, blue skies, the beach, sewing, fabric stores, softball league, authentic Mexican food, avocados, Target, diet sodas, understanding the language, common courtesy, the beach...oh wait, did I already say that? Uhm yeah, we miss the beach. And family. And friends.

Got more questions? Ask away!

Grateful:Day 2: Skype Dates

Day two: I am grateful for Skype dates with our family and friends back home.

Sal & NZ skype with grandpa Dennis

During the week, I usually log on my Skype account mid morning to see who might be on back home. We are fifteen hours ahead of California-- so 11:00 am here on Wednesday is 8:00pm on Tuesday back home. Most mornings, if Sal and I are home between 10:00 and 11:00, I spend the hour skyping with friends and family (mostly my sister or mom). On the weekends, we Skype with My dad and my grandmother.

Living abroad would be much harder not being able to see the faces of those I miss. My sister and I sit and chat (and run for bathroom or "wait a second, my oven timer is buzzing" breaks) while leaving Skype running. We go about our daily routine, just as if the other is sitting in our living room. I LOVE this. I set Sal up in a highchair in front of the iPad like the E-trade baby and I'm certain he is going to think his family and mama's friends all live in the computer.

I learned about Skype when NZ was in India for two months. We would Skype every morning and evening. I still missed him tons, but learned that the distance is made easier when you can see the other person. When we found out we were moving to China, I knew that Skype access was key for making life easier here, and I was oh so right.

California: weeee're baaaack

Here's a what-we-did-while-we-skipped-town-during-Golden-Week post full of photographs.

 

We went to the park and watched dad play softball.



swingin

heyyy batter batter

We hit the beach.

 

 

We saw a Dodger game (they won).

my boys in blue

We went to the zoo while dad went fishing.

 

at the zoo with grama Sandy & grampa Bob

We saw family. Lots of family.

 

grandma Valorie..those earrings look so---- grab-able. May I?



grama Sandy

great grandma Pat

meeting my great aunt Cindy for the 1st time

Sal started standing.

 

look mah!  I can stand!

We ate sushi. More times than I like to admit.

 

And mama shopped her heart out.

 

Target didn't know what hit it when I came through.

 

Puffs , candy and anchovies--priorities.

Sal's stash of formula

clothes from Auntie, grama and great grandma...

 

California, we'll miss you.

 



One Month In

In our first month as Wuxians? Wuxiites? --whatever you'd call us, we've managed to learn quite a bit. By no means have we got it all figured out. I doubt we ever will. Some things have worked just the same as we were accustomed to, and others, well--let's just say there's a learning curve and the need for a high level of patience around these parts.

An open mind is also like, totally necessary.

Here is a top 10 list of things we've learned this month:

1. Papa johns has our address linked with our home phone number. We only had to struggle once with the pronunciation of our address, and now all we do is call, and 45 min later our lukewarm pizza arrives at our door by way of the bike delivery guy.  We've called them at least once a week since moving in. 

  

2. When shopping for produce at the markets ( Carrefour , metro) you must get your produce weighed and priced BEFORE going to the checkout counter. I had actually read about it prior to our first shopping experience, and we did really good on our first trip..I felt so proud of us for not being those dumb americans at the checkout holding up the line...that was, of course, until our second trip when a lone avocado made it to the checkout counter without first being weighed and priced..boy oh boy did we get an earful at the checkout register. Needless to say, that avocado did not make it home with us.

3. There's a whole lot of honking that goes on. Each honk has its own meaning. There's the " I see you" friendly double honk; the "get out of my way" multiple long honks, the "I'm right here, and I'm not moving" long single honk, and then there are a handful we're still deciphering. When lane lines are just suggestions, and you've got a woman walking down the middle of the street texting (between busses, mind you), honking is a way of life. It works for them. I'm so used to honking in America meaning one of two things. Either, "hey, @$$hole, you just cut me off", or "heyyyy, there's my neighbor". Such is not the case here. Chinese people definitely utilize their horn to its fullest capabilities. 

4. Fireworks. Daily. No kidding. Morning (7:00a wake up call, anyone?), noon and night. We had some let off just across the canal tonight. Someone had reason to celebrate something. It's like the 4th of July here everyday. 

5. Lost in translation. Read the "store name" at the top of the stroller add. 

6. Texting. Our bank, UFH (medical clinic), and many other places we deal with all offer to text us confirmations. This my friends, is extremely helpful. Especially when were dealing with a language barrier and difficulty translating addresses etc. We've depended on NZ's phone for everything. My phone is still stuck in customs. The update today was that we might see it by the end of next week although it's been in Shanghai customs since Tuesday. I'll believe it when I see it. Anyhow, back to the whole texting confirmation thingy...we love it. Our Chinese bank will notify us when any charge is made with our card--that doubled with a dynamic verification code each time we use the card, would help alert us and the bank to any credit card fraud that could potentially occur. 

7. The sidewalks have directional braille to assist the blind navigate a straight course. However, they must take care not to get snipered by the uneven sidewalk, missing tiles and random scooters that might also be on the path to their destination. I think the Braille is great and all, and perhaps when it's time to cross the street, they're better off not seeing every car, bus, scooter and rickshaw headed their way. I, on the other hand, have to get over my fear of playing human frogger each time we cross. 

8. Special cleaning powers...not mine. Our ayi's. I never knew how shiny marble floors could be until she started cleaning them. She also does dishes, laundry, irons, picks up dry cleaning and makes faces with Sal who adores her already.  I'm in love. 

9. Expatriate love. We've been fortunate enough to have met a few other expatriates who have shared every ounce of knowledge they have since they'd arrived here in Wuxi. We're still having to learn things on our own, but their advice is much appreciated and we've been able to cheat the learning curve on a few things with their shared knowledge. 

10. We can make a home anywhere. Right now, Wuxi is home. Of course there are some things we miss, like our family, friends, conveniences (Target, I miss you!), and our bed (oh how our extra firm feel-the-springs-through-the-mattress is no match to our tempurpedic that we left  back in the states), but all in all, things here are similar, yet not quite the same. We've gotten enough to get by, and in time, we'll muddle our way through new challenges until we've got this town mastered. 

Bring on month two!