Turns out, I can yell

For the second time in a year span, I've had my heart come up my throat to the point that if I weren't gasping for air to let out a primal yell, it may have actually come out my mouth. But instead, I spew swear words like vomit all over strangers who have grabbed my child and pulled him towards them as if they were going to take him. 

Last year, while waiting in the Shanghai train station, NZ went to fetch us some water. Sal and I were sitting in a row of seats, with many open around us. I turned to the seat next to me to get into my purse and when I turned back around, there was a creepy Chinese guy sitting right next to us, leaning into Sal. My intuition told me something wasn't right, so I placed my hand on Sal's little leg (I didn't want to alarm Sal even though what I really wanted to do was tell the guy to f^ck off.) Just as my hand touched Sal's leg, the man grabbed Sal's arm and yanked it towards him like he was going to grab him and run. I still don't know exactly what happened there. I thank my lucky stars that NZ was on his way back with our waters and the man must have seen that he was no match for my "I can kick your ass" sized husband. The man retreated and I recanted our experience to NZ, all the while wondering what would have happened had NZ not been on his way back. At twenty something weeks pregnant and in Flipflops..I would've been no match for a quick handed Chinese man. We looked for the man afterwards, but he had disappeared. 

              

                                [sitting at the train station, waitin on our train ]

      

We've taken the train many times since, and never had another experience like that. I've not really feared my safety all that much. We expat wives tend to do things as pairs, although I do enjoy taking walks with my kids every so often for a sense of independence. In a time when I depend on others for so much--sometimes I just need to know I can do things without help. I've felt like I have enough vocabulary to answer the standard Chinese grandma questions if I'm out on my own doing errands and such.

Didi Huo meimei? (Girl or boy?)

nianling? (How old?)

Lian ge? ( two children? )

Pifu bai. Meiguo rén ? (Their skin is so white. American?)

Even if they aren't asking those questions, those are the answers they get. I always know when they've asked something else because they say, "weiguo rén  ting bo dong" (foreigner doesn't understand) to which I reply, "de" (correct) and they say ah,ah,ah, like they get it or something. 

Lately though, with two kids now both riding in stroller seats (I used to have Carla in her infant seat and covered-she was inconspicuous that way since many Chinese have never seen a baby car seat), we call a lot more attention to ourselves. I still take the kids to the dry cleaners and Korean market myself, but I've stopped going grocery shopping during the week and doing other errands which would require me to take my hands/eyes off our stroller unless someone else is with me. It's unnerving to have strangers stand around gawking at my kids as I try to decide on what size diapers to buy. Even more unnerving to reach for the package of diapers and turn around to a Chinese grandma with her hand on my daughter's face, or trying to feed my son from his sippy cup. 

He's capable of drinking on his own, thanks. 

I'm super thankful to have good friends here. Some with kids, others without. I'm thankful that they understand my frustrations with the culture, even if it doesn't bother them as much as it bothers me. I'm thankful for shared bus rides, extra sets of hands & eyes, and their ability to speak a crapload more mandarin than I do. 

Yesterday, the kids and I met up with one of my best friends and her son for our afternoon walk/playground time. We walked for a while and then let the boys out to run around the playground in her compound. It was late afternoon-a very popular time at the playground. There are always a lot of kids running amok while their caregivers supervise (often times these are grandpas wearing pajamas and smoking cigarettes on the bench). Yesterday was just like any other day on the playground...except for one Nǎinai. She was having a grand ol time on the pendulum swings. We both chuckled at the sight of this older lady swinging away on the children's playground. As soon as she saw Sal and my friend's son, she jumped off the swing and B-lined right towards them. In the meantime, I'm trying to untangle my sweaty hot mess of a daughter from her stroller seat harness and keep an eye on Sal while this woman bounds towards him. Right as I freed Carla from her straps, I see the lady grab Sal's upper arm and start pulling him onto the playground. Poor boy wasn't sure what was going on as he tried to pull his arm back in indicating that NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO WITH YOU CRAZY BI^CH (okay, maybe not that last part..). From the depths of my being, I let out the most primal NOOOOOOOOO, BUYAO! (okay, is effing BI^CH appropriate here? Oh no, it's not? I think it is.) as I lunged towards her and grabbed Sal's other arm. In retrospect, I feel aweful about how I handled that situation because I don't want to scare my kids or instill fear of strangers in them. 

But DO NOT GRAB MY CHILDREN. EVER. 

She backed away for a second and then started talking to me in Mandarin as her eyes caught interest in on my littlest child.

 "uhhhhhhhh? Lionga? "

Yes. I have two children. Now back off. 

Thankfully my friend speaks enough mandarin to tell her to leave us alone. 

But she didn't.

So, I apologized to Sal as I hustled him back to our stroller and didn't even bother putting Carla back in until we got out of dodge. I apologized to my friend for her having to witness my primal rage. 

That lady though.... She was too much for me yesterday. 

China: 1, Brie: 0

Playgrounds should be safe places for kids to play without being accosted. I understand we look different. I'm okay with that. I don't mind them talking about us, or being shocked that I have two children. 

But, please, oh please...stop following us around and grabbing my kids like they're animals at a petting zoo.

2.5 years of Sal

At two and a half, Sal is full steam ahead. I often describe him as full throttle. The kid operates in 5th gear 24/7. He has more energy in his little toe than I have in my entire body. That being said, I'm endlessly pinning activities and games and projects on pinterest in hopes of keeping him challenged. 

He's taken a recent liking to puzzles, both on my iPad (try the tozzle app) and for real. His favorite is a Melissa & Doug fishing puzzle that has a magnetic fishing pole to place the pieces in their respective spaces. He still isn't the artsy type, but he did make his dad two pictures using bingo blotters (we use a brand of blotters called dot a dot) and narrated the entire picture for me to write captions to the different parts. I was quite impressed as this was the first time I can recall the coloring being his idea.

                   

                        [ buying skittles without help from mama with his potty money]

Two and a half kind of crept up on us. In the last few months, he has really gone from a toddler to a little boy reaching milestones like transitioning into a big kid bed, potty training ( He only wears diapers to sleep and if we are going out for more than an hour) and giving up his bedtime milk ( save me the "you know milk will rot his teeth, right?" Yes. I'm aware.) It turns out that the whole milk routine meant more to me than to him. I worked it up in my mind that he would go to bed screaming if we didn't sit on the sofa after bath (and brushing teeth) and have his sippy of milk. Little did I know that the night we told him we were going to read a story instead of having milk would be met with a "sure, guys!" attitude. 

Giving up milk? Not a big deal. 

Phew!

Sal still loves his blue blankie and his stuffed animals; Pluto, Figuero and Mickey. All three nap with him in my bed, and Figuero gets to sleep with him each night, lucky son of a gun. Naptime has been fairly consistent again, with Sal heading to my room around 12:30 and sleeping until 2:30 or 3:00. I don't really notice a behavioral difference on napping days vs non napping days, so it won't be too much of a change when he does give naps up. 

       

          [ favorites: r/c excavator, wallet, credit cards, pj shirt, Roadwork book and blue blankie]

One of the benefits of living in China and being in a high rise is the vantage point of many many construction sites. Sal loves excavators (he calls them escabators), dump trucks and cement mixers. He often perches himself in Carla's window seat and watches them come and go at the apartment complex near us. Sometimes we walk over to see them, but he's usually content watching from our windows. 

                     

                      [ Thank goodness for double window locks. Watching busses go by ]

We love hearing his little chatter, and it's getting clearer every day.  Some of our favorite sayings of the moment are:

"Dats not berry nice" (That's not very nice) I have no idea where he got that one from *wink, wink*.

"I have a idea!"

" Yet's find a suwution" (let's find a solution)

" Yet's go to Elemenfesh and have mac'n tees". Once at Element Fresh, he usually asks NZ , "can I have some your yamb dada? (Lamb)", "can I have you yaffa bed, mama?" (Laffa bread)

                    

                               [ Who put this broccoli in my Mac n cheese ?!]

"See ya guys"

"Have fun. Have fun at work dada" 

"I need a tiss!" (Kiss)

"She need milk" (said whenever Carla is crying)

"It's a emergency!" 

"Jus yike da big boys do it" ( He's discovered that he can stand to pee. Yes, baby. Just like the big boys. Now wipe off the seat for the ladies.)

"Not of you Carya!" 

He's made strides towards caring more for his sister, but he did get a mouthful of her leg and left his mark last month. He's also exhibiting typical two year old defiance and aggressiveness at times. He's usually loving, but we have encountered a few situations as of late in which he pushes, shoves and takes toys from a playmate rather than using his words. I know its normal, but it's really challenging for me as a parent to watch my kid behave in such a way. All I can do is stay consistent with the discipline that NZ and I have chosen to use to deal with the behavior and hope that as his vocabulary and self awareness develops, that the words get used more than the hands to make a point. 

                 

                           [ hangin at the playground in his favorite Mickey shirt]

Two and a half is great-but it's also so very challenging to parent. There's a fine line that I skate between micromanaging  and letting him learn cause and effect on his own. Sure, I don't want him to push his playmate down to take a toy, but at the same time, he needs to learn that the playmate might hit him back, cry because he is sad, or yell at him and tell him to wait his turn. I feel like I always have to be on watch, because I don't want him to become a bully, and I want to be able to model appropriate responses to unfavorable behavior when it happens. But man, oh man, does it ever wear me out some days!

Sal, you're gonna keep your mama on her toes...but I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to being closer to three years old than to two!

Summer chalkboard

Our mid summer chalk board ala Jason Mraz's song, "I'm Yours" which will forever remind me of driving through Australia with NZ on our first trip down under during the summer of 2008. I just love that line so much and always have. 

It's also so very fitting for our weather lately. 

With the humidity laying the smack down on us this month, pretty much everything feels like it's melting . Our interior walls are concrete so we hang our frames and canvases with 3M hooks. In the next week or so, they'll start peeling off the wall if I have our doors open for long. It's crazy humid. Words can't describe just how it feels. Call me a spoiled Californian, but I'm convinced that humidity is the devil. 

The kids have a blow up pool on the patio which we have filled with water. Sal informed me that the water was too warm the other day. I added a tray of ice cubes to it and he let out a nice, "ahhhhh, dats nice mama". 

Funny kid. 

So, yeah. It's freaking hot and humid. 

But guess what?

This is our last summer here!

Next summer, rest assured, we will be building sandcastle and ingesting our share of saltwater and sand on the beaches of home. 

Honey farm

NZ and Sal took a little field trip with friends today. 

They started the morning off with breakfast out, and then drove to a honey farm. Not totally sure about the safety of a honey farm and a five month old's exposure to it, I chickened out on sending Carla with them and kept her home for a girls day. Well, she napped much of the day, and I attempted to sew--but my machine broke-so, I cleaned. Fun stuff, I tell ya. 

NZ said that the honey farm was basically just a little roadside bunch of boxes with a beekeeper tending to them. Sal had fun picking up sticks and rocks and such, while the guys purchased honey from the keeper. 

Perhaps the most impressive thing was that the beekeeper had his netted hood on, but kept the cover opened over his face and didn't wear gloves. That's one tough (or foolish) bee keeper!

Carla is 6 months old

When they say time flies with kids, they aren't kidding!

It's been six months since Carla joined our family. Six whole months! A half a year! 

          [ okay mama, I'll hold still if I can have Sal's kitty cat]

It's mind boggling where time has gone. 

I want it to slow down. 

Well, no. I don't, actually. I want some aspects to speed up, but when it comes to my kids growing up, I'd like it to go a little slower. 

I feel like I haven't been prepared for her to reach the milestones she's reached at the rate she is reaching them. In my mind, she's still an itty bitty newborn. In reality, she's a full fledged baby that is already asserting her independence and not needing mama so much. 

In the past month, Carla has started taking bottles (she can almost hold it herself), scooting and laughing out loud. Oh, and she can make some awesome raspberry sounds with her mouth as spit shoots out. It's cuter than it sounds, I promise. 

                

                          [ "I told you mama! No kitty, no laying still. See ya!"]

Carla weighs in at 6.5kg ( 14 lbs, 5 oz) and measures 65.5 cm tall. That's almost a two pound gain from her last weigh in. She's just about grown out of her 6month pajamas and I haven't got any larger ones for her yet. I was hoping to make it until our next trip home in her current pjs. That's not gonna happen. Binding feet might be normal in China, but not for my girl. I'll be buying some bigger ones soon.

Our girl loves to eat. She started eating purees shortly after turning five months, and has yet to try a food she doesn't like. Her least favorite is applesauce, and favorite would have to be peas. Other favorites have been pumpkin, zucchini, banana and mango. Next up on the menu are green beans and carrots...and maybe avocado if she's lucky. 

                

                      [ "Peas are my faaaaaaavorite. I'll cry when the bowl runs out."]

No teeth yet, but I suspect by the end of the month she will have one poking through. Her mouth is a faucet and she loves chewing on things. I hope it doesn't affect her sleep much, as she has continued to spoil us with 7:30 bedtimes and 5:30-6:30am waking. Her naptimes have been shorter (two naps of about an hour each) lately, but I've read that this is normal when babies are mastering new milestones....like crawling! 

                         

                 ["It's okay mama, he's just trying to stop me from getting his excavator."]

Although NZ and I are excited to see her gaining mobility, there is one person in our house who isn't so sure about his sister getting into his things. Out of all our toys, she prefers Sal's excavators and cement mixers- the ones made in China, with small, breakable and swallowable parts. 

Sigh.

Her first words might just be, "Not for you, Carla" as Sal and I say this to her multiple times per day. She loves anything that lights up and makes noise, so it's pretty easy to redirect her to something else. I know its only going to get harder to keep her occupied. Afterall, Sal's toys are the coolest. 

Maybe, just maybe, we will get her a few new "Carla safe" toys for being the sweetest little girl we know. Each day with her is the best. I just want to pick her up, kiss her and say, "Thank you for being ours." 

We love you Carla. 

Oh, hello summer

Wuxi must know that it's our last summer here, so up until this week, it's been taking it pretty easy on us. In the years past, it starts to warm up in June and then the humidity level reaches epic proportions when the calendar page flips to July 1st. 

June was relatively mild, so the kids and I put some mileage on our stroller with many morning walks to buy groceries and complete our errands. I'd say we walked at least 15-20 kilometers per week. Thankfully, I've got a friend here who also feels the need to get out of the house while the weather is manageable--so we usually walk after nap time for an hour or so and let our boys play on a playground nearby. 

It's been wonderful. I'm getting exercise, and the kids are getting out of the house and away from tv and boredom. Sal and I point out all of the excavators, dump trucks, and cranes that we see, and sometimes, if I feel like it is safe enough, we stop and watch for a bit. 

I have a feeling that today might have been one of our last walking days for a while. It was hot. It was humid. It was exhausting. 

And so I say, Hello, summer. 

We meet again. 

If anyone is looking for me, I'll be holed up in our apartment with my AC cranked, and kids bouncing off the walls until September. 

Maple donuts

When I was pregnant with Sal, my husband and I would go on after dinner donut runs (usually Thursday nights before Jersey Shore came on) to the local donut shop. We'd order a buttermilk bar for NZ, a maple bar for me, and one random donut to share, plus a few freebie donut holes from the shop owner thrown in, and by the time we got home, we would be staring down at six donuts for two people.

Too many, right?

But somehow, gluttony won over reason and we would devour them all in one sitting.

I'd vow to never eat a donut again by the time we were done, but then the very next week, we would do it all again. 

With Carla, we didn't have access to donuts 24/7, so I'm pretty sure my post partum body is thankful to have a few lbs less to shed this time around. Don't get me wrong, if they WERE available, I would have scarfed down a dozen or two. The few times we have found them here, they haven't been worth finishing.

I decided to try my hand at donut making this week for our Friday night dessert. I don't own a donut pan, and I'm scared of frying things with kids in the house--so this recipe for baked donuts from   DJ's favorite recipes   was right up my alley.

I followed her recipe with a few adjustments. I halved the recipe and subbed a few ingredients to utilize what I had on hand.

Here's how I made my half batch: 

MAPLE BARS

3/4 c nonfat milk

1/6 c coconut oil (original recipe calls for butter flavor Crisco)

2 T granulated sugar

1 t salt

2 T lukewarm water

1/4 ounce (7 grams) yeast (usually 1 envelope= 1/4 ounce)

2 egg whites (original recipe calls for 1 whole egg)

2 1/2-3 c flour

1 t cinnamon

ICING

1/6 c butter

1/2 c brown sugar

2 T nonfat milk

3/4 c powdered sugar

1 T maple syrup 

Dash of salt

To make the dough:

In small saucepan, Scald milk. Add coconut oil and 1 T granulated sugar and salt. Simmer for 2-3 minutes and remove from heat.

In large mixing bowl, add lukewarm water and yeast. Add 1 T sugar to the yeast and let sit until foamy. Once foamy, mix in egg whites.

Once scalded milk and sugar mixture has cooled to lukewarm, pour into yeast and egg white mixture. Add flour and cinnamon. If you have a kitchen aid stand mixer I highly recommend using it. Mix on medium speed for five minutes. I, on the other hand, tried to use my hanky hand mixer and had dough crawling up the beater blades from the get go, so I finished it off by hand by kneading for another 8 minutes. The dough will be sticky but not wet. If it still seems wet, add a Tablespoon more flour.

Once kneaded, oil a mixing bowl and place dough inside and cover with Saran Wrap. Let rise for one hour in a draft free place. 

After one hour, press dough into a rectangular 1" thick slab. Cut down the center and cut each strip into a 2.5-3" square. This recipe should make 8 donuts. 

Place donuts on a greased cookie sheet and let rise an additional 30 minutes. 

Bake at 425 degrees for 8-10 minutes until tops start to turn golden brown. Watch closely!

To make glaze:

In small saucepan, melt butter, brown sugar, milk and salt. Bring to a low boil and then turn down heat to simmer and thicken for 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat and add to powdered sugar and maple syrup. I used my hand mixer on high to get rid of lumps but this could be done by hand as well.

Glaze donuts while warm. I turned each bar upside down while warm and dunked them. 

Place on wire cooling rack to cool.

Happy Friday & Happy Birthday, 'Merica! We are thankful for our home country and can't wait to get back to the land of the free and home of the brave....and donuts, of course!